1963

Report Card Time. Once again another school year has come and gone. And parents everywhere are receiving enlightening epistles from deans and professors about their boys away at college. Like the following:

"Your son, Dave Butler, continues to apply himself diligently. However, his English III instructor has noted that his excessive use of four and other colored words in his May '71 Playboy article (pg. 172), 'Slow Down, You Move Too Fast' accounts for his receiving only a Hook+. A very gentlemanly grade. We here have high hopes though that with a little more effort, Dave may one day become more than just Associate Articles Editor of Playboy. By the by, Mr. and Mrs. 8., you'll be pleased to note that Dave's picture appears on page 3. Yes, that is a cigar clutched in his fat little fist. But you must remember that it was only one year ago this week that we successfully broke Dave's nasty habit of smoking his crayons. Messy, messy."

This one went to the home of Rick Dickinson: "Since our last communique (see March '71 column), Captain Rick (what his ROTC chums so affectionately dubbed him) remains one of our more adventuresome lads. In fact, at the March Assembly he was awarded the Air Force Senior Missleman Badge for his brilliant achievements during his three years as Combat Ready Crew member at Whiteman AFB. Which means that with the addition of one Wolf and two Bear badges, Capt, Rick will be qualified to go you-know where by himself."

And this one was mailed to a family in Bridgeport, Conn: "We are all delighted that your son, Dan Benson, has finally settled down. As you remember, last semester his zany antics in Life Science XXX kept the class in stitches. And Dan in hot water. (He painted colored thatch marks on a chameleon in order to assist when he placed the unfortunate specimer on a piece of plaid litmus paper.) Well. Dan's washed his hands and scrubbed his fingernails of the whole affair, passed hi; Med Boards and will begin interning at Flower and Metropolitan Hospitals, NYC. Phew!"

And this one went to Dave Pabst's folks: "I trust this will not alarm you excessively, but your son has informed the college that he plans to wed. Because he is on the Junior Year Abroad Program we consider it best for all concerned that the ceremony take place in the country where he is currently lodged. Vietiane, Laos. (Saves money all around.) His bride, the former Sally Fisher (Smith '66 and MA John Hopkins Advanced International Studies) has assured us that Dave will continue to get a good hot lunch every day. She feels her meals are unequivocally more nourishing than those served at the US Embassy South Laos where Dave is assigned as Vice Counsul. To this we would like to add a grain of salt, a teaspoon of rice, and our hearty congratulations."

And, of course, one goes out to the parents of Bill Bates: "Frankly, we haven'! seen too much of Bill for the past two semesters. His weekly road trips to central and southern Conn, have led many of our faculty to scratch their heads and query when his name comes up, "Bill who. However, his deportment, industriousness and over all splendid application (when on campus and especially in Life Insurant; 65) have qualified him once again for Connecticut General Life's 1971 President's Club (an organization for the company's leading life insurance agents). Since this is Bill's third consecutive year for winning the award, we feel he should change his major from Geology (now called Earth Science) even though he has repeatedly expressed a profound desire for owning a piece of the Rock. If he drops by in the near future to attend a Hartford Life Underwriters Assn. or Life Underwriters Leaders Assn. meting, would you kindly inform him of our decision."

And to the rest of you '63's out there, all A's if you remember to contribute to the '71 Alumni Fund, pay your class dues, and attend the mini-reunion in Hanover this fall. (See Class Newsletter for details). And so in the meantime, as our illustrious and infamous Cowboys and Indians prof. once exclaimed, Circle the wagons until I return again in the fall."

Secretary, 181 Valley Rd. Katonah, N .Y. 10536

Class Agent, 54 Bryant Ave., Metuchen, N. J. 08841

Co-Class Agent, 170 E. 77th St., New York, N. Y. 10021