1985

Welcome to yet another fact-based glimpse of things that may have happened to your classmates in the last six months or so. (Remember, "fact-based" only means theat we started with facts...)

We hear Becky Blake may be engaged to Randy Osborne, with a May-ish wedding date. She's at Georgetown, studying something. Possible future husband Randy is at Darden (so we know it must be business-related). Let's say he's into restructuring (whatever that is).

Some say Laura Hicks Roberts and husband Jeff might be parents now. We don't know the sex, so we'll pick a name that could go either way, like Terry. (Hey, this could be the start of a great regular feature—I promise a full column to the first couple that lets the class secretaries name their child. Just send us relevant details—ethnic background, social aspirations, former boyfriends'/girlfriends' names—and we'll provide you with the perfect name for your child—unless of course we're in a bad mood that day. What a memento the column will be for your offspring!)

According to sources, Kevin Umeh could be living in New York with an unnamed Frenchwoman he met while banking in Paris in the summer between years of Chicago B- school. As Sharon Matthews is rumored to be somewhere in South America, we'll imagine her leading a small band of native tribespeople in a spirited defense of the vanishing rainforest against a group of foreign mercenaries with bulldozers and machetes. Or maybe not.

It is not inconceivable that Steve Madancy is doing something with computers and trampets in Ann Arbor, Mich. He could be playing with a local symphony, or he might be writing a symphony, or perhaps he is programming his Mac (with his MIDI interface) to write a symphony (probably he's just hanging out with Midwestern freshwomen).

If you believe The New York Times (and there are those who don't) Eleni Daskalakis married Yalie Pete Henkel recently. They both do something or other at Morgan Stanley. We'll surmise that it involves numbers. (Okay, no big leap of faith there). The same unreliable rag alleges that Pat Hoeg married Richard Kenneally in West Nyack, N.Y. (I've always loved the sound of the word "Nyack." Say it to yourself a few times "Nyack, Nyack, Nyack." Notice how you're beginning to sound like Moe from the Three Stooges?) Pat's reputedly a lawyer, and Rick's an M.B.A. candidate at N.Y.U.

Supposedly Brian Barnes has been named a fellow of the Casualty Actuary Society. We will resist the temptation to make cheap actuary jokes, especially since Brian probably has statistical control over our life expectancy.

In fact, Gabrielle Guise married Jon Tiktinsky (Colgate '82) at The Pierre in New York on September 14. We weren't at the wedding, so we are free to speculate on the affair. Clearly, the bridesmaids may have worn Dartmouth Green, cinched at the waist with Colgate's colors (a tartar control white with peppermint blue flecks of fluoride). The elegant sit-down dinner of roast capon with morels was complemented nicely by goblets of Busch beer (a nostalgic bubbly for Gabrielle). The highlight of the evening was the official signing of the postnuptial agreement, in which Jon and Gabrielle formally agreed before all present that any children of their blissful union would attend Dartmouth.

Well, That's All The News That's Fit to Embellish. Next month, Mark.

Approximately yours,

798 President Street #4R, Brooklyn, NY 11215