Our Own Class Notes 19-
Secretary, COREY FORD Freedom, N. H.
Our first reunion, attended by the entire Class, was held November 16 at Memorial Field, in Row K, Seat 5. By an odd coincidence, Dartmouth was playing Cornell on the same field that afternoon. The result was one of the most satisfactory reunions our Class has ever had.
As a matter of fact, the final score was no surprise. Several days before the game, in a letter to the editor of this MAGAZINE, our Class Secretary predicted a Big Cornell Upset. As a result, our Class Secretary is not only established today as the outstanding football prognosticator in the country, but Frank Sullivan (Cornell '14) owes us five dollars.
In response to frantic requests from Dr. Gallup, Fortune Magazine and Mr. Dunn, we are glad to reveal the method by which we reached this astonishingly accurate prediction. All we did was to take a poll of our whole Class. In response to the question: "Who's going to win, Dartmouth or Cosrnell?", we received the following replies: 89% said Yes, 14% didn't care who won so long as it was Dartmouth, 7% preferred plain water in theirs, and 1% had such a hangover he couldn't talk. Breaking down these figures according to a cross-country system, we came to the conclusion that Dartmouth would win by 3 to o, or 99.8% of the popular vote. Two days later, the referee made it unanimous.
On the basis of our success as a prophet, therefore, we have ventured to make the following predictions:
1. Dartmouth will beat Yale, Columbia, and Franklin & Marshall, as soon as the referee gets a chance to see those movies, too.
a. Willkie will defeat Roosevelt. (The ball will be on the Republican's one-yard line, and the Democrats will be penalized five yards for exceeding the legal number of terms. Roosevelt will bat down Lewis's pass to Labor. The referee will carry the ball back to the 20-yard line, giving 417 electoral votes to the Democrats, but after some discussion it will be put back on the one-yard again. The Republicans will score on a shift and a long pass, New York State to Willkie, and the election will be over.)
3. The Dred Scott decision will be reversed, and the South will win the Civil War.
4. As soon as this dispatch is filed, our entire Class will go out and get unanimously boiled. This is one prediction I can back up. After all, you don't have a first Class Reunion like this every day.
P.S. Just before adjourning, our Class adopted a unanimous resolution extending our congratulations to Coach Blaik and the Dartmouth team for an all-time smooth job of football performance, not to mention the most exciting game that these old kidneys ever sat through. It was something to make a self-made Dartmouth alumnus proud.
