1941

The following story is true. Any reference to persons living or members of the Class of 1941 is purely intentional. The first scene is an F.8.1, office somewhere in the United States. Special Agent Brodie Bjorklund is receiving instructions from his bureau chief.

"Bjorklund, your job is to find us an agent who can get behind the Iron Curtain without detection. I suggest that you contact your classmate Charley McLane, who has recently returned from two years of State Department duty in Russia. He can help you analyze the candidates to determine which one is best suited for the job we have in mind. McLane is at present teaching Russian history at Bard College, Annandale-on-Hudson, N. Y. As a cultural attache of the U. S. Embassy in Moscow from mid-1950 until the spring of 1952 he had opportunity to travel extensively in the Soviet Union."

"Fine, Chief, I'll contact McLane right away. But what is the job we have to find a man for?"

"The job is to get to see Stalin and destroy him."

What an assignment! But before we go any further, here's a word from our sponsor: This program is brought to you by the May Manufacturing Company, Stuart May, president. Will our agent know Stalin when he sees him? Of course he will, because he'll be wearing his eye glasses in May frames -1 said May frames the kind that hold your lenses just right! Remember you'll find your way —with May. And now back to our story.

Bjorklund and McLane met to discuss can didates for the perilous assignment.

"Here's Bill Power from Rutherford, X. J. He's with the Hercules Powder Cos. and knows enough about explosives to do a nice, neat job. That's a possibility, but what about Rowland Fairlie of Elberon, N. J., who's a pilot with the Atlantic Division of Pan American Airlines? We might be able to get him to forget his stop in Paris and just keep flying until he got to Moscow."

"An interesting suggestion, Brodie, but as you know, Stalin is interested in real estate. How about sending a good real estate salesman like Jim Eckels of Ogden, Utah? Jim's had experience with the Western Mortgage Loan Corp. and he's used to the cold climate after his army experiences in Newfoundland, Greenland and Labrador. Only I doubt that Stalin would want to buy real estate."

"Perhaps the man is Dan Provost of the Cunningham & Walsh advertising agency, who handles public relations for Chesterfield cigarettes? I've heard those Russians will do about anything for cigarettes."

''Some people think Stalin ought to retire anyway. Maybe Bob O'Brien of Arlington, Mass., could get to see him on the pretext of selling him a pension. After all, Bob's manager of the pension department of Marsh Sc McLennan and what they don't know about pension, O'Brien does."

"Let's not forget Malcolm Scott, Director of Admissions at Hackley School, Tarry town, N. Y. Mai could tell Stalin he was interested in getting a few gymnasts for the Hackley team. But here's the best possibility yet Dr.Art Chirniklis who's at the St. Joseph's Hospital in Stockton, Calif. He's the chief of the anesthesia department! Brother, if we could only get him behind the Iron Curtain!"

"There's a classmate of ours up in Old Greenwich, Conn., who is a free-lance television producer Ira Skutch. I guess Ira's experience in the Dartmouth Players is helping him in his work. And he might be able to get to see Stalin on the proposal that he could get him on television, perhaps on 'What's My Line' as the guest star. Yes, I think Stalin might fall for that."

"Shouldn't we consider Lt. Dick Sexton of the USNR at the U.S. Naval Hospital at Portsmouth, Va.? Dick's an M.D. who was recalled into the Navy two months after opening his own practice in Providence, R. I. Therefore he would be a natural for the job, and besides, he's a plastic surgeon! Think of the possibilities!"

"Doc Spillane might be the guy. He's up in Hartford, Conn., and is an expert urologist. And besides I hear Stalin's had some trouble lately...

"I'd mention Jim Bailey from Macomb, Ill.,, because he's an amateur radio operator, but there's something against him he's president of the Union National Bank. Stalin wouldn't talk to the president of a capitalist institution like that."

"Vinnie Else might have a chance. He's with the M. F. Patterson Dental Supply Cos., in Hopkins, Minn., as systems analyst. He might interest old Joe in a new denture and if that didn't work might offer to analyze his system. Well, I can see we're getting nowhere fast. However on thse premise that some day Stalin must give an accounting to society, perhaps two New England accountants, DutchCotton of Peat, Marwick, Mitchell & Cos., in Waterbury, Conn., and Art Hills of Charles F. Rittenhouse, Boston, would be the best for the assignment!"

That's it folks. You've been behind the scenes in the election of a real counter-spy. Next month we'll be back again with another thriller. Meanwhile, a word from Bob Fry of Philadelphia Screen Manufacturing Cos., Swarthmore, Pa., our sponsors for the second half of this show: "Don't settle for less than one of our screens. After all, why use an Iron Curtain when you can use a Philadelphia Screen."

Secretary 47 Hook Lane, Levittown, N. Y. Treasurer, 1140 Wightman St., Pittsburgh 17, Pa.