Ad Nauseam

Late in McFebruary, long after most of the other Winter Carnival statues had begun their inevitable journey to the ocean, one large hunk of snow remained in front of the Gold Coast dormitories. It didn't take a Julia Child to recognize what it was - there were two all-snow patties, a little white special sauce, remnants of.lettuce and cheese, traces of pickle and, of course, a sesame seed bun, all in snow. It seemed as if someone wanted to inspire a McDonald's ad, especially with a visit by Ray Kroc, the hamburger-and-fries magnate, nate, scheduled for early March at the Tuck School.

We don't know whether Kroc and the rest of his court attendants, all of whom made the trip to Hanover in a special McDonald's bus, got the hint, but we do know that Dartmouth has been the focus of a number of major advertising campaigns lately.

Thumbing through our favorite sports weekly a while back, we came to a fullcolor ad that featured a scene faintly reminiscent of Dartmouth's Winter Carnival. Sure enough, there were brick buildings in the background, people dressed in green, and D's everywhere. An alumni tailgating party, usually autumn fare, was being conducted as an upraised Indian tomahawk (another tipoff) threatened to fall on what the Alumni Fund folks were sure was a dear friend of the College. Readers were treated to the drama of part of a conversation where the phrase "My insurance company?" somehow came up.

Shortly thereafter our attention was diverted to a science magazine where a two-page advertisement extolled the virtues of both graphic computer terminals and Dartmouth students. The students were watching the computer plotting a satellite orbit "blown by solar wind" in a "classic Newtonian mechanics problem" while a benevolent Dartmouth professor looked on. The ad, which mentioned three Dartmouth professors and the programs they have developed around the computer, commented, "These are just a few of the many ways in which computer graphics is helping to improve the learning process at Dartmouth."

A few years ago Dartmouth was the scene for a cola advertisement and, we understand, models were spotted posing on and around Winter Carnival statues for advertisements for other products which will appear in magazines in the near future. Perhaps the Admissions Office ought to brace itself for some startling answers to their standard question, "What single aspect of Dartmouth appeals to you most?"