1980

It was customary for the kids in my neighborhood to dress up as something scary for Halloween, usually a monster of some sort. Pedestrian hobo, princess and superhero costumes were almost always worn by new kids who hadn’t yet experienced the sheer joy of being seen by others as truly horrifying. And what joy it is! For me, there is nothing quite like it. When an opportunity to horrify an individual or group presents itself, I grab it with gusto. But I have found that what passes for horrifying has changed since our early years. The monsters we grew up with no longer seem so monstrous; even Greg Dunn has mellowed. Vampires aren’t scary anymore; shows like True Blood and Twilight have helped cultivate a new cool and downright sexy image for the bloodsuckers. In movies such as Land of the Dead zombies are more reasonable and intelligent than the humans whose flesh they want to devour. And recent characterizations of a more compassionate, less litigious Devil have certainly made his/her horns appear less long, sharp and pointy. For contemporary examples of pure evil, where are we to turn? Let’s think about this for a moment. Increasingly people like us are portrayed as the bankers who ruined the economy, the lawyers who protect special interests, the business elites who exploit workers and the doctors who amputate legs to collect higher fees. Just pick up the paper or turn on the news: To some we are now the monsters! Here’s a scary thought: Perhaps we should start dressing up as ourselves for Halloween!

A very frightening Bob Wood mask could become a bestseller in the Twin Cities, where in his role as the director of the Center for Craniofacial Services at Gillette Children’s Hospital, Bob performs reconstructive surgeries on children from around the world with congenital head and neck defects. Most of Bob’s patients are less than 1 year old. Later this year Bob will join his colleagues at the University of Minnesota, where he also serves as an assistant clinical professor, on a trip to Africa, where the team will perform craniofacial surgeries on local children in need. Bob’s trip this year follows previous ones to Mexico, Ghana and Haiti. If you want horns removed from your head or bolts removed from your neck, Bob is your man.

Visits to New York will end in disappointment when the shockingly realistic Rob Williams costume is sold out. This will come as no surprise, given the magnetic, Jekyll and Hyde appeal of Rob’s lifestyle. By day Rob is a partner in the global securities practice at Milbank Tweed, the law firm where he has spent the past 26 years; at night Rob slinks back to his other life, that of dedicated husband and father in New Jersey. And those of you with children at Dartmouth: beware! In addition to one daughter at Bowdoin and another still in high school Rob and wife Susan have a son who just began his sophomore year at Dartmouth, an excuse they use for making frequent visits there. Better lock that front door, Psi U!

And now it’s time to channel my inner Elmo. Four out of five Philadelphia veterinarians may soon claim that dogs are more frightened by Frank Fesnak than by new Eagles-arrival Michael Vick. After many diabolical years of terrorizing the technology industry, Frank is now teaching math to Philadelphia public high school students while pursuing graduate studies at the University of Pennsylvania. Picture a remake of the old Michael J. Fox movie with a horrifying teacher substituting as the shape-shifter. We’ll call it Quinquagenarian Wolf.

111 Arbor Place, Bryn Mawr, PA 19010; (610) 581-8889; ffesnak@yahoo.com; 1111 Park Ave., #2A, New York, NY 10128; pelmlin@frk.com