Courteous and Kind

A YOUNG ACQUAINTANCE of Ours who recently went as a new bride to a New England college town reveals an example of the thrift of the natives. Our acquaintance, a Mrs. Smythe, even though she is accustomed to forgetting important names and, through a well-developed myopia, to cutting aquaintances, both friendly and hostile, dead on the street with a total lack of discrimination (friend and enemy being indistinguishable at five paces), was nevertheless determined to make good in the community. Inclined to be a candid and tactless soul, she made up her mind to a policy of gushing—within safe range. She would wait to see the whites of their eyes, then shoot the works.

But it was the telephone that tricked her. A voice announced itself as Mrs. Page. "Oh, yes, Mrs. Page!", she purred, suspecting that Mrs. Page had been nice to her at the Graduate Club tea. "Hazel asked me to call and tell you she is going to have all her teeth out at one o'clock," said Mrs. Page. Our friend cautiously suggested that she didn't know who Hazel was. "Aren't you Mrs. Smith?" No, but the names were often confused, and Mrs. Smith's number was 239. "Wal," Mrs. Page said, unappeased, "You call her and tell her that Hazel is going to have all her teeth out at one o'clock," adding "It would cost me a nickel—l'm calling from Lebanon" as she hung up.

Mrs. Smythe dutifully called up Mrs. Smith and told her that Mrs. Page had asked her to say that Hazel was going to have all her teeth out at one o'clock. Mrs. Smith deliberated on the news and said with a touch of asperity, "Wal, I don't see how I can git over." She pondered this possibility further while our friend explained the slight nature of her own interest in the matter. "You call Mrs. Page," she finally said, "and tell her I can't git over at one o'clock but maybe I will git over later on," and hung up without further amenities. Our hopelessly acquiescent young bride followed the negotiations through to the end, but she doesn't know to this day whether Hazel is feeling better with all her teeth out.