Ballad of Elm Fever

I. Softly in the atmosphere I hear the spring expostulating: "Fortune ne'er was found by fear, Nor Life in grim procrastinating; But loving, hating, procreating That is Life, oh dull-eyed creature, Get ye up and go creating." And who would thwart the will of Nature.

11. This the Dictum is—but dear! How dreadful is the demonstrating. See! On every street appear The dregs of doglife circulating. Leering, prating, profligating And every freak fantastic feature In themselves perpetuating. Yet who would thwart the will of Nature.

111. The stately elm trees some revere As strong and chaste and elevating, Divinely sexless all the year. But oh, not so! They are a-mating Their vicious germs disseminating, And the most immodest creature Is far the more discriminating. Yet who would thwart the will of Nature? Envoi Mine eyes protest in unaba—a—a—ating Tears that every vulgar creature Does for God his recrea—a—a—ating— Ah, would I thwart the will of na-a-a-a-ture!