Lest They Fail
A faculty processional in full academic regalia is the traditional method of commencing Convocation. A student rush for cider and doughnuts is a less decorous though generally more appreciated tradition for ending the ceremonies. Neglecting neither custom, the 209 th year of the College officially got under way before a larger than expected student audience and a smaller than expected faculty turnout. One errant canine was also in attendance.
As Convocations go, 197.8 was a standard year: incoming freshmen were welcomed and new seniors congratulated; there was a standing rendition of "Men of Dartmouth"; and President Kemeny's first words, "Men and women of Dartmouth," received the by-now customary ovation.
There was also the usual ration of interjected levity. Dean Ralph Manuel '58 drew on an overheard conversation to explain the difference between his "remarks" and the "address" of the President as "15 minutes, if we're lucky." Kemeny later offered his own definition, noting that the "speaker giving the address is courteous enough to inform the others what the subject will be. Therefore they keep stealing his lines."
Despite the expected and unexpected laughs, however, a more serious message did not altogether escape those gathered. Manuel spoke of that elusive feeling for the school called "Spirit," quoting "Chief' John T. Myers '09 as remembering 60 years after he left Hanover: "Once a Dartmouth, always a Dartmouth. You never lose that affection for the old school, even if you just got in there for a cup of coffee." The dean went on to describe the three foes of a liberal education as ignorance, muddleheadedness, and - most pertinent to current students - crassness.
President Kemeny considered the specific issues of nuclear energy, carcinogens, and retirement regulations as illustrations of the increasing complexity of modern life and the urge on the part of many to apply simple solutions to complex problems. As for Dartmouth in particular, Kemeny concluded his address with an exhortation to the undergraduates: "Don't listen to the siren song of simplistic solutions. The world is complex. The world is frustrating. The world is also very fascinating. Take it as it is. Do not let in a fantasy world. Face the problems the world presents to you, and above all, use your years at Dartmouth to prepare yourself to meet them."
And after the speeches and the music, one disgruntled senior explained between bites of doughnut and sips of cider the origin of his displeasure. It seems somewhere along the typographical path to a Convocation program, the fourth line of the school song became: "And the loyal sons who love her ... "Now there's a tradition that failed," he grumbled. "It's supposed to be loyal men, not sons." Taking another bite, he looked down glumly and added with a sniff, "I hope nobody tells Richard Hovey."
