1981
House of Ill Repute. Every morning it's the same. I pass it on the way to the Metro. The gaudy neon lights flash on and off a den of iniquity luring the unsuspecting citizenry.
Little do they know.
Within those vice-ridden halls thrives a level of depravity unknown since the days of Claudius. Debauchery, drug sales, illicit sexual escapades, and perhaps the most dreadful activity of all legislation.
Strolling past the Capitol, one can only surmise that our nation's history textbook is fast becoming a tome of dog-eared pages.
Next slide, please.
Up on the Hill. Fortunately for the class of '81, there are some members of our mongrel horde who are fighting the sin and sickness in the halls of Congess. Kevin Lynch has wangled his way into the office of Connecticut Representative William Ratchford. Kevin is handling all duties of distortion, deception, and manipulation; in other words, he is the press secretary. Meanwhile, Wendell Jenkins is handling legislative research for Mississippi's Jeremiah Denton, and Chris Cannon is gearing up for law school applications while continuing to labor for Minnesota Representative Martin Olav Sabo.
Also wandering Washington's steamy, sootsoaked streets is Gordon Davenport, who has signed on as assistant business manager for Dartmouth Trustee Berl Bernhard's ('51) Washington Federals, a new team in the U.S.F.L. (go ahead, if you don't know look it up).
Likewise on the Potomac is the ever-irrepressible Greg Fossedal. That zany, devilmay-care Hun has enlisted in Washington's latest social club, the Washington Times, also referred to as "the Moonie paper."
Finally, exhibiting the moral cowardice and ethical trepidation that has made her a veritable tower of jello in the struggle for D.C. decency, Jenny Toolin has abandoned her summer job at the World Bank and returned to the Fletcher School of well-intentioned imperialism at Tufts. Jenny is currently organizing a field trip to Chad and Sierra Leone, where she will be establishing a small savings and loan. Interested?
Also returning to Boston after a sojourn in Washington and a detour through Dallas is Mark Brown, who has renewed his contract with Harvard Law. All three-piece and smallclaims suits should be directed to Mark.
Stout-Hearted Loons. That has left a skeleton force of stalwart '8 Is to forestall the impending collapse of our nation's capital. Tracy Bennett will be in Georgetown's international studies program, and Jim Ritter continues as a paralegal aspiring to become a parasite at the ParkDavis law firm. Chuck NordhofFis reputed to be down here as well, though with Chuck, that's difficult to confirm even when you see him.
There are others, of course, mentioned in my previous missives. You'll simply have to review your archives (you do keep all my columns, don't you?) to assess the extant dramatis personae (i.e., the remaining boobs).
Over There. A quick look at our overseas tally shows Chris Halloran and Steve Reynolds somewhere in the Land of the Rising Sun, teaching Americanese. Meanwhile, Dave Kunin is finishing up at the London School of Economics and threatening to stay in England until the return of Arthur. Really, Dave.
Out There. America's answer to foreign bodies California is continuing to attract an astounding amalgam of '81s. Hallidie Grant has shifted her sights to the streets of Sari Francisco, where she continues her torrid pace in the world of banking and psycho-societal economic persuasion. According to Hallidie, Al Greenstein is there, too, intimidating customers of the Pacific Gas and Electric Company. Also in San Francisco, Dave Plough has turned down a job with the Central Intelligence Agency, so anyone wishing to reach Dave had better do so in a hurry. Wild Bill Casey doesn't like to be snubbed, and Dave may not be long for this world.
Manhattan Transfer. Because I have no cute or witty segues at my disposal for the moment, suffice it to say that here is where I'll talk about some people in New York City.
Sharon Washington is moving quickly through the thespianic industry in the Apple. She has just hooked up with the Manhattan Theater Club as assistant to the managing director (Barry Grove '73). But don't be crass enough to call up for an audition. Just show up and say, "Hey Sharon, make me a star," and she'll be more than happy to oblige. Really.
John Gilroy also was last seen in New York, wandering around the Upper West Side near the apartment of Bob Dewey and Tom McGonagle. As usual, all three were confused and frightened.
Nuptial Bombshell. FLASH! Now this one you are not going to believe. Thom Smith married and living in Pittsburgh. Married? Pittsburgh? Who knows, maybe two wrongs can make a right. Said Thom, "Well, it just seemed the thing to do at the time." Jeesh.
Time To Go Bye-Bye. Sorry kids, but it's time to go to bed now. Now don't "Aw, Dirk" me, you heard what I said.
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