1980

For years, Herb Caen has delighted his San Francisco Chronicle readers with his Bay Area witticisms. But only recently did Caen come to his senses enough to visit the other Bay Area Boston. Herb writes that he really enjoyed the entire experience and that he was especially fascinated by New England humor. "'You've never bean to Boston?' they all ask so dryly with the emphasis on 'been.' This is followed by the unavoidable line on that famous fish: 'Why, you can get scrod anywhere,' to which you are supposed to reply by mumbling something about never having heard the past pluperfect or something. . ." My California pipeline is Jim Wilson, who is on a four-month project for E. F. Hutton in San Francisco. My broker is Jim Wilson, and Wilson says that the tooth fairy is a dentist from San Francisco ...

Well, as the World War I commander told his squadron's hot shot, "Nobody likes a smart ace." Besides, it's time to get on with this flight . . .

Pair of aces? Pair of queens? Paralegal? Kathi Watkins is back in her hometown of Washington, D.C., working as a paralegal in a law firm. Wat claims to be busier than a onelegged kick boxer but she is enjoying her work posolutely and absitively. Kathi also wonders, "Doesn't Reagan keep saying we're facing hard times? Now he doesn't need to say that. If we wanted hard times, we would've kept Jimmy Carter as President ..."

William Luke Warm Hale writes from California — Claremont — that he has been "meaning to write for the longest time." No, Luke, the longest time would be never writing at all. But this is the standard excuse of "Type A" personalities . . . Luke works forE. F. Hutton in nearby (to Claremont, not to New York) San Bernardino as some sort of sales account executive. You might have seen him in the commercials on television. One actor says to another (California is full of them), "My broker is E. F. Hutton and Hutton says ..." That is Will's cue. He and 112 other people (who in one scene might be spectators at a tennis match, or in another, joggers in a park) all lean forward and whisper to each other, "What'd he say?" This is a perfect role for Luke. Due to the incessant shotgun blasts of his beloved trap and skeet shooting, his hearing is abysmal. Since his early teens, Will's favorite expression has been, "Huh?"

Yes, Virginia, those were the Geer sisters you saw a while ago in Sports Illustrated — our classmate Carlie Geer and her sister Judy '75. No, the photographs were not retouched. That was all real muscle!

Current events quiz: Q — What do you call a pitch thrown by Fernando Valenzuela that hits the batter? A — That's a refried bean ball.

As the brides go tearing by; Wade Herring has announced his engagement to Susan Cramer, who also hails from Macon (pronounced like "bacon"), Ga. Wade and Susan are also classmates in law school, which presents some interesting possibilities. Would you seek legal counsel from Herring and Herring? Will their first domestic dispute be called Cramer vs. Cramer?

Packing his umbrellas, three sets of Might) Macs, a London Fog, and a pair of hip boots, Tom Carley is moving to Portland, Ore. He has signed a three-year contract with Price Waterhouse, so he'll be a free agent at the end of the 1985 season. TC graduates from Chicago Business School in June. Another Chicagobased greyhound is Mitch Cohen. When he's not geeking at Northwestern Business School. Mitch runs. See Mitch run. Run, Mitch, run. During his spring vacation, Mitch ran from Chicago to Fort Lauderdale. Both Mitch and Tom were planning to "run Boston this year. Good luck in the marathon, boys.

Spanky's believe-it-or-not: According Guinness, "Dainty" Steve Storfer once arc three pounds and six ounces of vanilla ice cream in — hang on to your waistlines — 90 seconds. Can you believe it? He must have been slamdunking like Dr. J. Anyway, as a result of all these records, Steve got pretty big. How big was he? He was so big that in high school foorball, when he was benched, nobody else could be His scale used to say, "One at a time, please ' Steve has forsaken his meteorology career and is now a grain elevator in Kansas.

Shots heard 'round the girdled earth: Trina Olin of classmate Guy Dietrich — "He's got the kind of mind that takes an hour and a half to warch 60 Mmutes." Guy — "She's so full of hot she's being recruited by Goodrich to blow up their blimps." Trina — "That's Goodyear, not Goodrich."

Coffee, tea, or me? Beverly Sims is now based in Miami as a Delta flight attendant. She passes along this advice to help time fly while you do: "Since airline officials are reticent to let you jog in the aisle, there is little to do but sit tight. But sitting very tight helps my advice is to drink heavily. . . . Some people propose list writing as a viable distraction. It makes them appear to be very busy everyone thinks of you as an important executive with lots on your mind. My favorite subjects are old high school teachers, available fair isle sweater colors, Elizabeth Taylor's husbands, Mickey Rooney's wives, who's who in Finland, Bulgarians I've met while yachting, etc. ..."

As a class, we're not showing much when it comes to the Alumni Fund. Following our smashing success last year, this year looks a little "slow" to say the least. As of April 1, the classes of 1977, 1978, and 1979 were abusing us. Please, the only thing that those classes should beat us at is getting back to first reunions. Let's do our part to help the College. We'll simply be returning a favor, that's all. Thank you.

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