Nominees for Commencement Speaker

Some say that the current college generation has no heroes. But a recent poll of 125 '94s may show that there are too many heroes. The seniors were asked, "If you had any say, who would you like to speak at your graduation this spring?"

Jerry Seinfeld and David Letterman out-polled their competitors by two to one; each got exactly two votes. "Seinfeld or Letterman," said Lisa Tarchak. "I've paid enough money to go here; I want some good entertainment for my graduation."

Tom Keegan suggested both Ross Perot and environmentalist David Brower. "I could give Keegan, "but their manner of speaking and their individual personalities would be fascinating to have on campus, especially if you could arrange a debate between 'em!" Terry I Boyle's closer-to-home suggestion: Bobby Clark, Dartmouth's outgoing men's soccer coach. "It would be an amazing speech," Boyle says. "His experiences from Zimbabwe to the World Cup are wide enough to include all of the Dartmouth community. His overall outlook on the priorities of life must be heard before we venture forth from the Hanover Plain."

And the other winners (envelope please) are:

•Diamanda Galas, performance artist

•Cleve Jones, AIDS activist

•Cornel West, philosopher

•Hunter S. Thompson, author

•Deepak Chopra, physician

•Irvin Johnson, basketball player

•Garritt Hardin, environmentalist

•William Buckley, pundit

•Dr. Dre, rapper

•Norman Schwartzkopf, retired hero

•Thomas Sowell, economist

•C. Everett Koop '37, head of Dartmouth's Koop Institute

•Toni Morrison, author

•Naomi Wolfe, feminist

•Hillary Clinton: First Policy Wonk

•Maya Angelou, author

•Desmond Tutu, South African bishop

•Tim Wirth, Colorado senator

•Arthur Schlesinger Jr., historian

•Brace Babbitt, secretary of the interior

•Fidel Castro, Cuban dictator

•Juan Antonio Samaranch, president of the International Olympic Committee

•Gary Snyder, poet

•Elvis, wandering spirit

•Sadoka Ogata, head of UN High Commission on Refugees

•Nancy Kerrigan, newly wealthy ice skater

Wendell Berry, author

Seinfeld as speaker?