HOW TO STOP HATING CLASSICAL MUSIC

MAESTRO

For those of you who can't stand a good symphonic interlude, here are five pieces that might help you get over it.

1. TCHAIKOVSKY'S 1812 OVERTURE. It's traditionally done on the Fourth of July, which is a little strange since it was a piece commemorating Napoleon's defeat. We were fighting the British, the Russians were fighting the French. But it has carillons, it has extra brass and it has cannons. It's a very festive piece. You throw in fireworks and you've got a big bang.

2. RAVEL'S BOLERO. First of all, it's a perfect example of orchestration. The flute has a solo, then the trumpets have a solo, then the violins—it goes through many different instruments in the orchestra that pick up the melody. In addition, if you want to have a nice episode of sex with your partner, play it. After 12 minutes, you've got quite a climax.

3. BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH SYMPHONY. Its motif has just two notes, which are synonymous with the allied victory in World War 11, because Winston Churchill used this German piece as his code for victory. Three dots and a dash stand for "V." When Britain was all alone in the war, he played that piece in the BBC broadcast and held up a "V" for victory. There was tremendous popularity in his doing that.

4. BEETHOVEN'S NINTH SYMPHONY. This is the "Ode to Joy," the one that has a big chorus in the fourth movement. It's about brotherhood and peace and freedom and the love of man. It's a beautiful work; everyone knows it. It's a must.

5. ROSSINI'S WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE. In this country we have always loved Westerns, and it's the theme of The LoneRanger. The barump, barump, barump bump pa. It's perfect.

Erich Kunzel

Kunzel, a.k.a the Prince of Pops, recently celebratedhis 35th anniversay as conductor of the Grammy-nominated Cincinnati Pops Orchestra, whichhas appeared on numerous national telecasts onthe Fourth of July. Audiences everywhere are gratefulthat the one-time chemistry major told his professor—in a not-so-uncharacteristic moment—togo to hell, then changed his major to music. Kunzellives in Maine and Florida.