OTTO GROW VISITS DARTMOUTH

The following vivid comment on the recent winter carnival was written especially for TheDartmouth by Franklin P. Collier of the Boston Herald through the medium of Otto Grow:

I regard it ez a distinct compliment to be allowed to compete in a subject that hez been tacked by some uv th' biggest men in these United States, namely Dartmouth College. You ask me whot things impressed me an' Collier on our so join in Hanover during th' carnival, an' poysonally I'll say thet ef I wus t' classify 'em I'd put 'em down in this order -

Th' loidies.

Th' ski jump.

Th' Dartmouth Democracy.

Th' Temperature.

Th' loidies.

Th' Costume ball.

Th' Fratoinities.

Th' long walk to th' ski jump.

Th' ski contests.

Th' snow shoe contests.

Th' food at th' Inn.

Th' Dartmouth play.

Th' rest uv the intercollegiates.

Th' loidies.

An ef I wus premitted t' add another one I'd say th' tremendus number uv freshmen with aristtoocratic brains who wus flunkin' out.

Th' goils muster hev been takin' lessons from this guy Cootie or Cooey, because they kept gittin' better an' better th' more uv 'em y' saw. Judging by th' pulchritude percentage uv 'em I figgered that th' students must be marked accordin' to th' luveliness uv their dames.

Whatever else Dartmouth may lack during Carnival week she sure hez an aristoocracy uv dames.

Th' ski jump exactly carries out President Hopkinses ideas uv Dartmouth ideals ez I see it. Fer once started down over thet Ethel Tower they got there, a rich man's son has just as much uv a chanst ez a poor man's son uv fracturin' his wish bone. Dartmouth is a democratic institootion all right, Ef it wasn't before, it must be since President Harding made those last remarks about th' coal shortage in New England bein' psycholigickle. Th' democracy uv Dartmouth wus brought t' me attention ez soon ez I reached Hanover . Everybody called everybody else by their foist names.

They even call President Hopkins "Hoppy"; they do outside th' college building anyway, an' I heard scores uv freshmen tellin' about Jim Nasium and they even call their Dean "Bill," which by th' way is one bill at Hanover thet th' students can't duck.

Th' "Sahara" Doibey wus a great show even though I never saw a stiff hat in th' cast. It shows wot extremes thet Dartmouth kin go to; They bring y' in out uv a temperature uv 15 below zero an' put on a desert performance where th' temperature is 110 in th' shade. I got a fierce cold by goin' out inter th' night again after woiking meself inter th' hot desert atmosphere uv thet Webster Hall productshun. But it was woith it.

They's lots uv things I din't understand about th' snow carnivul but I got th' general drift allright. Most uv the degrees I saw at Dartmouth wus ten below or better, an' th' only sheepskin I came in contact with wus th' one inside me coat. I asked Proffessor Keltey who wus considered the most popular man in college and th' Proffessor informed me thet th' most popular party outside th' faculty wus this guy Semister. Everybody at Dartmouth seemed to be talkin' about him.

Another thing thet interested me at Hanover wus these automobiles shootin' around with skis on front instid uv wheels. Those is a great stunt in winter but I shud think they would go orfull hard in th' summer time.

Th' Dartmouth men are a cool headed crowd, I didn't see a hat while I wuz up there. Some uv th' Boston spoiting goods moichants may hev stores at Hanover, but this guy Raymond would starve to death.

They soitingly treated me swell at Dartmouth, Prof. Richardson offered me a chair in th' school uv Social Engineering but unforchoonately it wus on th' day after I tried th' ski jump an' I wus unable t' occupy it.

Dartmouth is uh great college an' I'm with her in everythin' but this "no hat" gag. Kin you imagine me walkin around up there with me lid off?