A MARRIAGE HAS BEEN ARRANGED
between Paul W. Loudon and Miss Dorothy Larson of Minneapolis.
So the final chapter is written, and Red will attend the Seskwee for the one and only reason of introducing Mrs. Red. I think Red wants to convince the class that all this talk is not hokum and reunion ballyhoo. He has promised the appearance of Mrs. Loudon, in person. (Note: Received an extra $10.00 from Red this A.M. Wonder what he has in mind.)
A fine letter from Paul Wilson tells us that he is now located at Port Lauderdale, Fla., where he is recuperating from arthritis. He spends his days baking in the sun and sand. As the beach is populated with people who are either invalids, old, or retired, he reports the life is not very exciting. He would appreciate hearing from any of you. Address, care of C. D. Benack, P. O. Box 256, Fort Lauderdale, Pla.
Way up in Salem, N. Y., we find Doug MacCartee a prosperous poultryman, getting more prosperous every day, if the following can be taken in good faith:
"I run a poultry ranch in this neck of the woods. About a month ago while foraging in the woods the chickens lit upon a pile of rye mash. They ate freely of the mash, and it was all they could do to navigate home that evening.
"But, strange to relate, egg production increased most wonderfully as a result of the mash diet. Of course, I watch out that they don't eat too much of it and get plastered. I now get two, three, or four eggs where I only got one before. Twin eggs and even triplets happen sometimes. Henry Ford can't tell me a shot of rye doesn't make a bird efficient. I know it does. Where does he get off with his peace, prohibition, and production?
"And I am happy also to say that sales have picked up even beyond production. My customers soon found out that when they bought eggs from me they were getting eggnogs at egg prices. Now I can't supply the demand. The customers sit around happily like old times, smoking and telling stories and ordering up. 'Two shells more as of yore' or 'Another round of shells, here.'
"I had a friendly visit from a prohibition agent the other day. He lapped up nine shells and staggered away. I would like to change my shingle from 'Fresh eggs' to 'Fresh eggnogs.' Can Ido this without breaking Andy's pet law? I have a great respect for that trick law, and I'd hate to put a dent in it.
"Meanwhile the chickens are sawing wood, and they sure are working hard on the latest, the greatest, and noblest of all experimentsbringing happiness and contentment to my customers and profit and pleasure to a poultryman.
The following from the ever faithful Chuck Kingsley concerns our New Yorkers:
"Fred Davidson 'set 'em up' for one round in celebration of the arrival of his fourth, Henri Dekkers Davidson, the third boy in the family. A disappointed sister has reluctantly agreed to let Fred keep Henri. Louise is doing very nicely, thank you.
"Doc Cook, Tarrytown's leading science professor, showed up en route to a basketball game. Doc refused to be quoted on the Einstein theory, and berated your correspondent for not earlier apprising the world of the arrival of Donald Martin Cook, the second boy of the Cook family.
"It is reported that Gordon Sleeper has disposed of his holdings in Sleeper Radio Corporation and is now located in Chi. Details unknown to your reporter.
"Red Ramage is a recent non-resident member of the Dartmouth Club. He was in Gotham for a convention, but was unable to stay over for the dinner."
George Frost, we hear, is in Minneapolis in the floor-scraping business. Maybe he is the author of the disputed Loudon letter.
Rocky Flanders is off Chuck Kingsley for life. Here's the dirt:
"In the March issue of the DARTMOUTH ALUMNI MAGAZINE, page 337, a low life named Kingsley refers to me as the thinnest man in college. He's a cock-eyed liar.
"Mrs. Flanders and myself named our second boy Charles. At times I have called him 'Chuck,' but from now on if anyone calls him 'Chuck' it will start a fight, for I'll leave it to the judgment of any '14 er—if 'Chuck' brought to mind Chuck Kingsley, would any one of us want any son of ours named after him?
"If I'm the thinnest man in '14,—by gosh, Chuck Kingsley is the thickest. "ROCKY."
Bob Phelps sends regrets from Altoona that he can't seskwee, as follows:
"If there are any others in the class in public utilities they can understand what chance a man has who is consecrated to the service of the public of calling his soul his own. If 'youse guys' would quit highballing your congressmen and yowling for lower rates, we, the employees, might stand a chance of increased pleasure and the wherewithal to enjoy it."
Johnnie Hazen announces as the chief event of the season in his household the arrival of John Vose Hazen, class of '49, the sth generation of the family in Dartmouth.
Tony Rud, author and editor, offers "Apologia Pro Absentia Sua" (whatever that is), and states he will be in Hanover in June. In addition to fathering a brood of three, Tony edits Adventure and writes fiction for such sheets as Saturday Evening Post and what have you.
By the time this breaks into print the toughest four months in the year will be on for Mart Remsen. Most of you fellows do not appreciate the tremendous amount of energy, time, and worry our most conscientious class agent gives to the annual appeal for the Alumni Fund. Fourteen has made her quota 100% or better for the last four years, or each year since Mart has been responsible. The highest credit is due him for this achievement. You fellows can help him tremendously if you will simply tell him on the very first appeal what you are going to and then do it.
