Your Football Tickets—An Explanation

To date, only two types of stadiums which would satisfy everyone, have been proposed. The first, called "The Graduate Manager's Dream" is as wide as the distance between the two forty-yard lines and as high as the ticket demand, perhaps half a mile. The second, sometimes referred to as the "sidewinder" is a circular stadium like the Yale Bowl.

Employing the principle of the revolving door, this would be set on tracks and powered to make, during the game, one complete revolution. In such a stadium, every alumnus would sit twice on the fifty-yard line, twice behind the goal posts, etc., etc. It would make for perfectly impartial ticket allotting and it would guarantee everyone all possible angles of vision. To be sure, inebriates who arrived late would have trouble in finding their proper portal—but do they not have trouble in any stadium, anyhow?

Unhappily, neither of these two Utopian schemes have yet been judged sufficiently worthwhile to replace the present harmonious system of "grab-bag" seats. So, necessarily, alumni are bound to say again this year: "I haven't had a good Harvard seat for the last ten years," with appropriate adjectival comment on the ticket office in Hanover. But, in complete fairness, the office doesn't deserve the panning.

Not to Be Envied

We used to think that the most disagreeable position in Hanover was either the judicial job of Dean Laycock or the disciplinary duties of "Spud" Bray. During the fall, however, we envy no one less than Harold M. ("Chick") Evans, chief ticket dispenser.

Do you remember some of the mental puzzlers in Greenleaf's Arithmetic? Problems like the farmer who left sixty cows to seven sons, or how would you divide fourteen apples evenly among five boys? They seemed difficult until you decided that one boy wen.t to the city—and that somebody had to make applesauce. But Chick Evans has a problem in long division this year that can't be answered so glibly.

At Harvard, we get 22,000 seats. Four thousand of these,—the best seats—are between the thirty-yard lines. We have 15,000 alumni, 2,000 students and 300 faculty. It is true that not all of them will want seats, but it is equally true that those who do want seats will want more than one—perhaps twelve. Our quota of 22,000 seats will be quickly devoured—probably over-sub-scribed. The task of the ticket office is to divide perhaps 5,000 good seats among 12,000 applicants. Obviously, someone is going to sit on the minus ten-yard line, at the Harvard, Yale, Cornell and Stanford games.

Undergraduate Preference

Just who gets the good seats? Well, this game of football is primarily an undergraduate affair. After all, it is their game. So every undergraduate and faculty member of the college is allowed not over two seats in the cheering section. Next in line comes the "Service" list-—members of the team, coaches, etc. It is also believed that a small group of men including the trustees, the Alumni Council, and The Athletic Council, deserve the special consideration of obtaining a reasonable number of seats in a good location. Football "D" men are allotted tickets in a preferred location and then come the alumni.

Allotment by Classes

The class groups aren't drawn out of a hat; the numbers aren't tossed up the stairs; and they aren't allotted by "drag." The classes sit by seniority—that, and nothing else determines preferred location. If you are in the class of 1830, you will get better seats than if you were 1930. Priority of application doesn't help, either, so LONG AS YOUR APPLICATION GETS IN UNDER THE WIRE ON THE CLOSING DATE (BUT NOT AFTER THE CLOSING DATE) IT IS JUST AS VALID AS IF IT WERE RECEIVED SEPTEMBER FIRST.

The limits on tickets exist because Dartmouth's own family has to be taken care of first. The Stadium doesn't grow from year to year, but the demand does. Why? Well, there are 600 men alumni of the class of 1931, and there are 700 new freshmen in the class of 1935. Multiply that total by an average of two seats each. 2,400 additional seats more than sections in the stadium! Where will they put 'em? That's what Chick Evans would like to know, too.

Here are your odds on tickets: There are 21 sections in the stadium. Only nine of these are between the goal lines; only three are between the 30-yard lines. UNDER ANTSYSTEM THAT IS USED THREE OUT OF FIVEMUST BE SEATED BEYOND THE GOAL LINES.

What Are Your Chances?

There are 17,000 alumni and students who have the right to apply for seats. Supposing that but 7,000 of these apply, that no preference whatever is given to players, coaches, or undergraduates, either as to location or number of seats, and that each applicant is allowed but three seats, the most any Dartmouth man could reasonably expect would be that TWICE IN FIVE YEARS THE LAW OFCHANCE MIGHT LOCATE HIM IN THE STADIUMON THE SIDE OF THE FIELD BETWEEN THEGOAL POSTS, AND ONLY ONCE IN TEN YEARSWITHIN THE THIRTY-FIVE-YARD LINES and even then he might be behind the colonnade. Then allow each student a preference of one seat near the center of the field, and now the law of chance might locate the alumnus between the GOAL POSTS ONCE IN THREE YEARS and within the thirty-five-yard lines only ONCE IN TWENTY-FIVE YEAHS. It is evident that unless an alumnus accepts these physical facts, no plan of distribution can satisfactorily solve the seating problem. Your chance of getting a good seat is inversely proportional to the number of tickets for which you apply. IF YOU APPLY FOR TWOSEATS, THEY WILL BE BETTER THAN IF YOUASK FOR FOUR.

Correct Address Important

The best insurance for getting tickets when you want them is to MAKE SURE THAT THE ALUMNI RECORD'S OFFICE HAS YOUR CORRECT ADDRESS. The Athletic Council does not have a separate mailing list. If tickets are not delivered to you it is due to one of two reasons:

(1) We do not have your correct address. (2) The postman will not deliver the tickets (which are registered) except to you personally.

Necessarily, the ticket office has to be almost entirely routine, but if you have a bad heart, or a wooden leg, or if you want to sit with friends—you will find the rules fairly elastic.

H. M. EVANS "His lot is not a happy one"