A Father Reflects On a Son's Reflections
Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fiend!More hideous, when thou show'st theein a childThan the sea-monster.How sharper than a serpent's tooth it isTo have a thankless child!
King Lear
A SCANDALOUS, nay, almost libelous, article appeared in the January issue of the ALUMNI MAGAZINE. "A Son's Reflections," written by some undergraduate whose name escapes me at the moment, had not a scintilla of compassion; the author obviously did little, if any, research or consultation before he wrote the piece. It cries out for rebuttal.
As a member of one of the "older" classes and as one who could possibly have a son or daughter about the age of the Undergraduate Editor, I deem it incumbent upon me to defend the alltoo-often maligned Dartmouth parent. 'Tis a pity indeed that at this stage of our lives we must suffer indignity in silence while doling out several thousands of dollars for what we are told is a liberal arts education.
A few pertinent points can be dealt with specifically. Of course we took our kids to Baker Library to see the Orozco Murals; we never had time to see them as undergraduates - not with the Nugget showing five different pictures every week. Certainly we pointed out our room on the third floor of New Hamp; we don't have the strength any longer to climb three flights of stairs. Certainly we look with nostalgia at Hap and Hal's, where lunch could be had (and good!) for under half a buck; now that will only cover coffee and a doughnut. Certainly we remember crisp November football Saturdays; who the hell wants to remember duck boards in March?
Who among the alumni would be so provincial as not to see the beauty of the campuses at Williams or Princeton? But really, who in all honesty could claim they compare to the Hanover Plain? Certainly we said (isn't a father allowed his little jokes?) we would pay the tuition at only one institution. But doesn't the writer state he has a brother at Colby College in Maine? I can vouch he has not been disowned.
Certainly we talked of girls and Carnival; Dartmouth wasn't coed in those days and girls didn't live upstairs or next door as the case may be today.
Certainly "junc town" telephone operators were an integral part of life; among other things, the phone company didn't issue credit cards to be used by the offspring to call who knows wherever she may be. Certainly it took better than four hours to get to Boston; we hitchhiked down because we didn't drive in our own car with a credit card neatly tucked in the visor.
But, to be perfectly objective (and aren't we all?), there were a few points in "A Son's Reflections" that deserve some little commendation. It is a thrill to live vicariously and it is a thrill to go up to Hanover periodically for "State of the College" briefings. However, we also live vicariously when Mom gets her advanced degree or when one of the other kids scores a touchdown.
We have tried to take a back seat since the fall of 1972 and we do discuss what is different more than what is the same, some in a light vein and some a bit on the heavier side. What is covered in the classroom is one area of discussion, and another is coeducation. We were both - the son and I - leary on this one in the beginning, but I think now there is no question in either of our minds that it was one of the better moves made by the College. The advantages available under the four-term year are another subject and can best be illustrated by the many varied alternatives available for the enterprising student who works to find an interesting and challenging job or study program during his "off" term.
We are grateful it has worked out and that there was no serious desire to transfer (heaven forbid!). The fact is, if a child goes to one or the other of his parents' colleges, a burden is put on all. If he attends a parent's college, he has bowed to the pressure of home. If he doesn't, isn't he considered a rebellious and ungrateful kid? Either choice can cause repercussions, especially if he is unhappy with his eventual choice.
Now, as we once again sweat out the mysterious workings of Eddie Chamberlain and the admissions office, we ask ourselves if it has been worth it all. There is but one answer: you bet it has! And I suspect father and son can agree on at least one more thing: "To hell with Harvard!"
Not so coincidentally, Richard M. Shribman and David M.Shribman '76, scolded here for his musings in the January"Undergraduate Chair," are related.
