Kappa Kappa Grandpa

"Who could turn down a date with some of the most lovable Dartmouth men in town?"

"Dear Sir, "began the letter from Kathy Marshall '84 no need for gender ambiguity here "The Sisters of Kappa Kappa Gamma Sorority at Dartmouth would like to adopt you as our Grandfather! We would love to get to know you and to hear about Dartmouth of the past while you get to know us and our lives at Dartmouth today. If you agree to be our Grandfather, we will match you with one or two Kappas who will be your 'granddaughters.' They will do such things as take you out to lunch or whatever you'd like to do. To start off the fun, we will have a party at our sorority house in November for all the Grandfathers. If you are interested in being a 'Kappa Kappa Grandpa,' please just drop us a short note so we can tell you more about it. We hope to hear from you soon!" Although the response was a nearly unanimous "yes," the reasons behind the invitation are too numerous to list.

"Our theme for 1984 was Reaching Outin New Directions, and our chapter goal, Communication and Commitment," explains Melissa Baten '86, the sorority's current public relations and philanthropy chair. "We were looking to do something really different, something long term. We've had many single-event projects in the past, such as Halloween parties for diabetic children and apple picking for the United Way. Our only ongoing project has been our adoption of a Mexican child. We wanted to hit the other end of the spectrum and do something local with older people."

"It was important that it was an alumni activity," adds Susie Law '86, KKG's current president. The sisters wished to put themselves in touch with Dartmouth's past. "We felt that we had no far-reaching ties into the richness of the Dartmouth tradition. Sure, some women have fathers or grandfathers who graduated from here, but there was no large-scale connection between us and the Dartmouth that existed prior to coeducation."

"From working with alumni in the Hanover area, I knew there were many who had never met female undergraduates," comments Libby Roberts '79, house advisor and associate director of the Dartmouth Alumni Fund. "To show each group how wonderful the other is, I suggested the 'Kappa Kappa Grandpa' program. The concept of educating older alumni who were not necessarily thrilled with the idea of woman at the College was an added bonus."

The chapter fondly remembers a letter written by one of the grandfathers whose name, unfortunately, has been lost as the story has been retold. He wrote that at first he was skeptical about coeducation at his alma mater. Recently, however, he had come to think of it as the clever ploy of some fellow alumnus who wanted his son to meet an appropriately bright, capable, attractive young woman to be his wife. After meeting the women of KKG, he decided that the admissions committee had been right on the mark in striving to produce doubly-Dartmouth pea-greens for the classes of 2000-on.

But, as Donna Fraser '85, concluded, "The real motive here was just to reach out to some pretty special people. Dartmouth is a place that generates a camaraderie that transcends generations. You can see it in the way any alumnus you meet just lights up when he realizes you're from Dartmouth. And the men who have become our grandfathers have an extra dollop of these emotions. They chose to return to Hanover after their retirement ... or, in some cases, never to leave. Their enthusiasm for this college is just incredible... and so is ours! It's been great to get together and share stories about experiences here."

"Grandpas" are as touched as their granddaughters are tickled. One old alum carries a copy of the KKG composite in his wallet. Whenever one of his cronies gets a little too "uppity" about his beautiful, talented granddaughter, he says he flashes all of KKG at him and tells him, "Top that!" When writing the chapter to accept the "position" of grandfather, more than a few enthusiastic gentlemen took several paragraphs to explain their credentials and "past experience" in the field. One even offered to furnish references from "other granddaughters" upon request.

Grandpa Talbot '26, describes the program as "unique, interesting, challenging and a lot of fun!" Although modestly claiming not to "wax elegant" ("Now, don't think I am... I really do mean this,"), he borrows a line from Conrad and explains," 'Youth is a feat of memory.' You help us in that feat. You help us to do what older people do all the time. You help us to stay in touch with our youth."

Grandpa Foster '29, notes, "Dartmouth without women was a hell of a mess." He describes himself as a "fraternity-minded guy" and a "close member of the Dartmouth community" who sees the program as an ideal way of remaining in touch with the undergraduates. Grandpa Foster explains that he was in four fraternities ("Four, Grandpa Foster? How can anyone do that?" "Well, if you're a good kid you can!") and that he therefore looks upon sororities in general as a very positive thing.

As for any apprehensions about the Kappa Kappa Grandpa Program, the acceptance letter received from Grandpa Chamberlain '36, contained a caveat. He wrote: "A word of warning, however: I suspect I shall know some, if not all, the other 'grandfathers' to whom you have extended this invitation, and. knowing them as I do (my own children accuse me of the same thing, but in my case, I'm sure it's an undeserved accusation), once you get them started on 'the good old days,' it is to your interest to have made previous arrangements so that on signal the suffering sister will receive an emergency telephone call, thus terminating the spiel." No such signals are necessary his granddaughters find him as witty in person as in print and enjoy his stories of "the good old days" immensely.

Kappa Kappa Grandpa kicked off with a welcome tea party toward the end of winter term in 1984. Since then, activities have included a luau during the summer term and a tailgate before the Dartmouth-Columbia game during Houseparties weekend. What has been very special as well has been the time that granddaughters and grandfathers have arranged on their own. Jen Root 'B5 and Missi Reinkemeyer '85 spent Thanksgiving with Grandpa Colton '35 this past November when they were unable to see their "other" families. Barbie Van Buskirk '85 is planning on taking her Kappa Grandfather, Dr. Lynch '38, to a lacrosse game in which one of Grandpa Lynch's other granddaughters, Adelaide Pearson '86, will be playing.

Grandpas have also been wonderful about coming through with those little things that make a day brighter... like the valentine received by Laura Hicks '85, from Grandpa McInnis '36. "I was so touched that he thought of me on Valentine's Day," she remembers. "My own boyfriend didn't even send me a Valentine's card!"' Equally thoughtful have been the numerous hockey tickets bestowed by grandfathers upon sportsminded sisters. Grandpa Talbot '26 was the driving force behind the donation of a much-needed new refrigerator for the KKG kitchen. "I just can't believe how terrific they are to us!" comments Kathleen Joyce '87. "Those guys could sure teach the men on campus now how to treat a lady. We like being so spoiled!"

With the Dartmouth Plan a constant threat to long-term relationships, and graduation inevitable, the development of some sort of plan to ensure continuity was clearly necessary. The solution: each Kappa Grandpa is assigned roughly five sisters, so there's bound to be at least a few on campus each term. Also, big and little sisters in KKG are assigned together so that there is a natural "familial" vehicle for continuity over the years. The system has worked well thus far.

There has been one major revision of the Kappa Kappa Grandpa program; while the first party was for the grandpas only, the second included grandmas as well. Grandpa Talbot pointed out somewhat tongue-in-check, "You Kappas are very beautiful women. It was probably wise to have our wives come with us for... well... for reasons I'd best not go into!"

The program's focus Communication and Commitment has done much to bridge the gap between members of a generation of the Old Guard, when Dartmouth was a rough-and-tumble haven for hearty young men, and the Dartmouth of today, where women play an integral part in the expansion of this rich tradition. All in all, both Grandpas and Kappas seem to be enjoying each other immensely in Hanover. Grandpa Lynch echoes the sentiments of many a grandfather when he states he is "honored to be included among such a lovely bunch of women," and Kappa Kappa Gramma unanimously returns the compliment. In the words of Tracy Lee Pulciani '85, "Who could turn down a date with some of the most lovable Dartmouth men in town?"

"Grandpa Warner Bentley '14a, emeritus director of the Hopkins Center, enjoys cider,cookies, and a chat with Kappas Missi Reinkemeyer '85, of Reno, Nev. (left) and LindleyShutz 'B7 (center), of Kansas City, Mo.

"The real motive here wasjust to reach out to somepretty special people.Dartmouth generates acamaraderie that transcendsgenerations

"I was so touched that hethought of me onValentine's Day. My ownboyfriend didn't even sendme a Valentine's card!"

Gabrielle Guise, a senior at the College, is adouble major in English and religion. She isa student liaison officer with the DartmouthClub of Westchester and will be joining Bank-ers Trust in New York City next fall. She isalso a member of Kappa Kappa Gamma so-rority.