Potato Head

One of my growing fears as I advance through Dartmouth College is that I will become an intellectual potato head after graduation. Having returned from many a leave term only to reflect upon the frightfully few brain cells that I used outside of my job or area of interest that term, I have concluded that this may be a foreshadowing of an intellectual indifference that is to come.

When I get caught up in an interesting job or internship, as was the case last summer, I certainly utilize my "Ivy League" intellect as best as possible in executing my responsibilities. By the end of the work day, though, I am ready to play a round of golf, take, a walk on the beach, or even read a current novel. But I am not interested in anything that, by my scholastic standards, could be considered the least bit intellectually enlightening or challenging. Even on my days off, my primary interests are such "mindless" activities as recreational sports and sleeping on a beach. If I am capable of establishing such an intellectually unstimulating routine after only two months of working, I shudder to think what might happen after 20 years.

A recent quiz in U.S. News and World Report served only to reinforce these fears. The quiz was given to 17-year-olds in an effort to show how ignorant of basic facts that age group is. An attention-grabbing headline announced that only 68 percent of those students tested could identify Abraham Lincoln as the writer of the Emancipation Proclamation. The authors then concluded that the high schools are failing in their tasks of educating the young and this failure illustrates, as it is more commonly labeled, "Why Johnny Can't Read."

When I decided to take the test myself, the results were shocking. Since I took the quiz before the term started, I am convinced that I was still in my summer academic daze. My most serious error was the inability to name all five of the Great Lakes (Ontario slipped me up). Other areas of difficulty included naming the country in which the Ganges River is located and, although I probably read the question too hastily, naming the colonies that John Winthrop founded (India and Boston, respectively).

My ineptitude at answering seemingly elementary questions was certainly not the result of improper schooling, as the U.S.News and World Report article would have one believe. At one time, I knew these facts. I have forgotten them because I have not considered or used them since I first learned them.

So I am afraid that five years from now, my high school and college schooling will be merely part of my distant past and my mind's greatest challenge will be to figure out where the best parking space can be found. Anyone who has studied a foreign language knows that it is altogether too easy to lose such skills if you do not use them regularly and fall into a state of intellectual ineptitude.

Of course, I do not foresee my fear of academic indifference as inevitable. I am actively considering some form of graduate work that will keep my intellectual capacities alive. Furthermore, getting a job certainly does not predetermine an intellectually Unstimulating life. Nevertheless, when I look back at all the plans for academic pursuit I had at the beginning of last summer and compare them to my actual accomplishments, I find reason for concern.

The best solution I know is to recognize the difficulties that I will face in finding academic interests if I enter the working world immediately after graduation. Perhaps I can set certain academic goals for myself while working full time. I also realize that schools of continuing education abound, and, given the right circumstances, I could find an intellectual outlet.

An even simpler solution after graduation might be to accept the end of my scholarly years, at least for the time being, and accept the intellectual deficiencies that come with performing a day-to-day job. If someone should ask me at age 30, though, who wrote the Emancipation Proclamation and I reply, "Thomas Jefferson," I hope, at least, that I'm making a lot of money.

Jay Fogarty is a columnist for The Dartmouthfrom which this is reprinted with permission.