1984

I know that most of you are looking forward to our upcoming reunion. The thought of spending time in Hanover with old friends, new friends, and people who you're sure you knew but can't remember is thrilling to the vast majority. Yet, there are some who are unsure. Doubts linger: what if I can't remember anyone's name? What if everyone has a more exciting life than I do? For those of you who fit into one of the above categories, I can help. This column will be devoted to helping you overcome your reuniphobia.

Let's begin by tackling the first problem: What if I can't remember anyone? 0.K., this is easily solved. I've decided to volunteer to be everyone's buddy. I'm trying to arrange it so that one issue of the Alumni Magazine is devoted solely to yours truly. With a life-size poster. Just read the articles, such as "Eric's Life Story," or "Fifth Grade-The Three Most Difficult Years in Eric's Life," and you'll be all set. You can walk up to me at that party and say something like, "Eric, how are your folks, Len and Laura?" All of the people who normally swarm around me (and they do swarm), will be charmed, and rush to introduce themselves. Problem solved.

Now, problem two is a bit more difficult. It is entirely possible that everyone has a more exciting life than you do. I'm sure that my life is more exciting than the rest of yours, added together. There's no point in trying to top me. However, some of you insist on trying. This is a big mistake! Let me give you some examples:

Chrissy Burnley graduated first in her class at Stanford Business School last spring. According to reliable sources inside the school, Chrissy is the first woman ever to do this. Those of you scoring at home may recall that Chrissy was the valedictorian at our graduation as .well. Pretty impressive you say? Pretty exciting? Not even close. Let's take a closer look. She gave a speech at Dartmouth, she gave a speech at Stanford. Probably the same speech. This isn't exciting, it's redundant.

Another example: Chris Bowlds was married oil January 15 to Debi Covert in Seattle. Chris, a second-year medical student, met his bride during a rotation in pediatrics. His bride, who has just graduated from elementary school, plans to begin junior high school in the fall. Actually, that isn't true. Debi is already in junior high. When she grows up, she hopes to get a master's degree in pastoral studies at Seattle University. Seriously, all the best to you two. And if it turns out that Debi is number one in her class, give me a call. I .think I can get her a speech, cheap.

Finally Caia Brookes took a break from her software job to spruce up her excitement potential. What did she do? She took a job impersonating a cockney in a San Francisco Dickens Christmas Fair. Now, this is going a bit too far. She probably plans on coming to the reunion and pretending to be some British girl who you never met. While Caia has gone too far, she had the right idea. The trick is to stretch the truth a Tittle, and give yourself a job that sounds exciting but is impossible to verify. Take Jennifer Roberts, for example. She claims to be engineering the growth of a recycled paper distribution company on the West Coast. What the heck does that mean? Who knows? But it sounds great.

One final example is Judith Turner. She claims to be getting married, but takes it a step farther. She and her man, Cliff Rust '87, are planning a nationwide concert tour with their band. For all we know it's a polka band. But it sounds exciting.

I think you have the idea. Well, I'd love to stay ana chat, but I have to finish packing. Where am I going? Well, it's a long story, but I'll tell you about it in June.

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