How Twain Turned Vaudeville on its Ear

Early on in "The Diaries of Adam and Eve," a play adapted from two stories by Mark Twain, Adam is frustrated by Eve s naming things before he can open his mouth. It is the standard line about the man not getting a word in edgewise. But there is a turn on the old joke: in Eden, if you can name the world, you can control it. She is given the power and grace that defines the human-an extraordinary insight for the late nineteenth century. Here is an excerpt from the play that indirectly shows this naming power.

ADAM Tuesday: Been examining the great waterfall. It is the finest thing on the estate, I think. The new creature calls it Niagara Falls why, I am sure I do not know. Says it looks like Niagara Falls. That is not a reason: it is more waywardness and imbecility. I get no chance to name anything myself. The new creature names everything that comes along, before I can get in a protest. And always that same pretext is offered it looks like the thing. There is the dodo, for instance. Says the moment one looks at it one sees at a glance that it "looks like a dodo." It will have to keep that name, no doubt. It wearies me to fret about it, and it does no good, anyway. Dodo! It looks no more like a dodo than I do.

EVE Wednesday: We are getting along very well indeed, now, and getting better and better acquainted. He does not try to avoid me anymore, which is a good sign, and shows that he likes to have me with him. That pleases me, and I study to be useful to him in every way I can, so as to increase his regard. During the last day or two I have taken all the work of naming things off his hands, and this has been a great relief to him, for he has no gift in that line, and is evidently very grateful.

ADAM Monday: The new creature says its name is Eve. That is all right, I have no objections. Says it is to call it by when I want it to come. I said it was superfluous, then. The word evidently raised me in its respect; and indeed it is a large good word, and will bear repetition. It says it is not an It, it is a She. This is probably doubtful; yet it is all one to me; what she is were nothing to me if she would go by herself and not talk.

EVE Monday: This morning I told him my name, hoping it would interest him. But he did not care for it. It is strange. If he should tell me his name, I would care. I think it would be pleasanter in my ears that any other sound.

Although he talks so little he has quite a considerable vocabulary. This morning he used a surprisingly good word. He evidently recognized, himself, for he worked it in twice afterward, casually. It was not good casual art, still it showed that he possesses a certain quality of perceptions. Without a doubt that seed can be made to grow, if cultivated. Where did he get the word? I do not think I have ever used it.