Louise Erdrich '76 on Brenda Silver

"I Was Terrified To Come Here."

GREW UP IN WAHPETON, North Dakota, a very small, isolated town. My mother's family were reservation people; my father's were small-town German, and growing up I had no reason to think I would ever come to a place like Dartmouth. I had never been out of the upper Midwest. And I wasn't well prepared, either. My high school was pretty run-of-the-mill. I was terrified to come here; I didn't know the language. I didn't know how to behave. I was afraid of how rigorous it was going to be.

When I arrived here in 1972 the ratio of men to women in my class alone was nine to one. It was a very confusing world for me to suddenly step into. Fortunately, one of my first professors was Brenda Silver in the English department, a marvelous woman and teacher. I took her freshman seminar "Paranoia and Beyond" which was wonderful. She took a look at me and had an idea that she would care about me. I was so surprised: I had thought I would be in a completely anonymous environment, struggling on my own.

In Brenda I had an example of a strong woman who was succeeding in a place that was not then easy for women. Especially at that time when I felt so insecure, it was important for me to see another woman not afraid of expressing her views. She became someone I would watch without even thinking about it. I would pick her out wherever she was on campus. I'd see those great black pants and bright sweaters and that wonderful long hair.

Later, she became my advisor when I went to study in London. I got to know her best there. I went to her with problems and trials; she gave me a sense of being grounded. And she took on my work with such great diligence and seriousness. I learned that she was a tremendously hard worker. That, too, left a great impression on me.

I still have everything she graded. Her handwriting was very fine, round, confident. Even in her comments you can see this real quality so intelligent and alive and unafraid of the experience of caring about her students. To me, she was not just an example. She was someone who, in a very deep way, made me sure that, somehow, I could get through.

Louise Erdrich

AUTHOR LOUISE ERDRICH'S books include Love Medicine, Tracks, The Beet Queen, and Jacklight, a collection of poems. Her mostrecent novel, a bestseller entitled The Crown of Columbus, was co-written with her husband Michael Dorris (who is described as amentor on page 32).