A Dam Exclusive Bon Appetit Reviews Thayer

At Bon Appetit, we test up to 2,000 recipes every year. Our usual practice is to prepare a dish from scratch in our kitchens, then have a formal tasting by the staff. Ordinarily we would not "test" already prepared food that has been fast-frozen, boxed, and shipped 3,000 miles in dry ice to our offices, because it just wouldn't be fair.

Well, life isn't fair sometimes. So here is my wholly unobjective opinion of several Thayer Hall specialties, all straight from Hanover by way of our microwave:

Chicken Cordon Bleu with Sauce Supreme. I haven't seen this dish on a menu in more than a decade, and thought it had been retired to the Museum of Culinary Antiquities. Obviously that was wishful thinking. It lives! However, if memory serves, there should be both ham and cheese in the stuffing. There was no cheese in my sample—but I don't think it would have helped. The Sauce Supreme isn't.

Pasta Gratin with Vegetables. In my day this would have been macaroni 'n' cheese. Now it's shells 'n' cheese ('n' broccoli). Homely, tasteless, filling.

Salisbury Steak with Mushroom Gravy. A.k.a. Mystery Meat with Brown Stuff. The provenance of the meat in this dish is as obscure as ever. Probably just as well. The texture and flavor are reminiscent of "beef' dishes served on Eastern European airlines.

Survival Chili. A dish with an intriguingly ambiguous name: Are we to infer that it will help us to survive, or that we will be lucky to survive it? Either way, it's really beef stew with some packaged chili powder dumped in, and a reminder that New Hampshire is a long way from Texas.

Two side dishes, the mashed potatoes served with the chicken and the steamed rice that accompanied the steak, get the highest marks on this particular test. (It takes more talent than Thayer Hall can muster to ruin spuds and rice.)

In all, this food will likely sustain life but will not enhance it. And if I had closed my eyes while chewing, 30 years would have vanished. At Thayer Hall, clearly, plus ca. change, plus c'est la meme chose.

So who says there are no Dartmouth traditions anymore?

Critic Garry and staff were sent a trayful of Thayer food in dry ice.