CLASS OF 1917
Al Shiels recently wrote Hunk one of his enthusiastic "California, here I am and here I stay" letters; and we take the liberty of quoting in part:
"For the information of you poor unfort unates I want to tell you about our newest resort, near Tia Juana, about 140 miles south of Los Angeles, in Mexico of course. A very fine dog racing plant. (The movies own a lot of dogs.) A perfect eighteen hole pitch and put course, and a full eighteen hole course in construction for the $25,000 tournament next winter. Then a very fine hotel, marvelous cuisine—and anything you want in the way of refreshments. Finally a well run casino, with roulette, blackjack, and what have you. The landscape gardening is a joy; and a mile away Cofroth has the Tia Juana Jockey Club. Don't get the idea that I'm a press agent; but if I remember some of the sessions in North Mass., this layout might appeal."
Now if the Florida real estate men, the Broadway hounds, the Chicago gun-toters, or the boosters of Potsdam, N. Y., or Little Neck, L. 1., don't come across with some real counter-boosting—well, we'll all have to move to Los Angeles.
Field Marshal Trenholm of the U. S. A. recently sent us a letter which he really should have sent to some editor that pays real money. We are printing it and paying him nothing in cash; but I'm sure the class will award him beaucoup credit.
"Get oriented, Sam, and broadcast that the Trenholms are temporarily at least not in Texas but in Oklahoma, the same state which shelters Burglar Allison and Duke Barnes; the state where good Republicans drink mostly corn, and wish Al Smith had been elected.
"Fort Sill is an old frontier post, and in the old 1.C.0. Guard House there still is posted up on the wall these instructions: 'The members of the garrison, when shooting buffalo on the parade grounds, will be careful not to fire in the direction of the Commanding Officer's Quarters.'
"Now as to our activities—there are not quarters enough at the post for the student officers, of whom there are about 110, so we live in the burg of Lawton, five miles south. We go out thirsty for knowledge at 8:00 A.M. and come back at 4:00 P.M. more or less quenched. Anyhow we're picking up lots of useful information—gun construction, motors, gunnery, and signal communications, including radio, buzzer, signal lamps, and the old wigwag.
"We were given Christmas guts by the animal transport department of bronchos, or REMOUNTS as they are called. Only the good horse breakers and trainers were assigned one, and of course I caught a wild little four year old with Arab blood, which I call 'Pigeon.' I work her two hours a day (no one else being allowed to play with her), and at first she was inclined to be skittish; but I put in some overtime, and now I'm riding her and she doesn't make so much 'whoopee.' This mustbeabit boring; but I'm hoping they will do what they used to do at Fort Riley in 1842 when the C.O. put out an order: 'The Troop officer having the best REMOUNT at the end of the year will be awarded a barrel of whiskey.'
"Diversion here: 1. Riding to hounds Sunday morningssometimes chasing up coyotes, other times kill um skunk. 2. Shoot um big cannon. 3. Play um little bridge—sometimes catch um wampum.
"We finish up here at Port Sill June 12, and we have no idea where we'll be going next. Station BLAH now signing off."
Hal Weeks, after spending the summer in Exeter, N. H., is on the trek again; and reports temporarily as being in Hendersonville, N. C.
Johnny Wheelock is now district manager of the Colonial Air Transport Company in Hartford, Conn.
ADVENTURES OF SIR OTTO GHETSOM CASHE
(Synopsis of preceding verses—Sir Otto, the outstanding painless extractor of the world, has been engaged by the class as financial adviser, and when last seen he was starting for Carnival with a strikingly beautiful girl.)
As Sir Otto stepped off the train which had brought all the Carnival guests back to the city, it was apparent that something was wrong—very wrong. His shoulders drooped and his usual dapper manner had deserted him. He didn't even have his spats on. As for the little queen whom he had taken to Hanover: she was very obviously toting her own suitcase, and was not speaking to the Dook.
We walked to an oyster bar, and while Otto was waiting for Ms stew to cool he unburdened himself:
It was all going to be so simple. My beautiful guest was sure to be chosen the Carnival Queen. Some wealthy Dartmouth student would have paid us a fabulous sum to escort her to the Carnival Ball; and the class debt would be liquidated and my reputation maintained. But one little detail was overlooked; and yet even if it had been foreseen, no gentleman, particularly a gentleman of the old school such as I am, could have mentioned such a matter to a lady. It was really too awful.
"She was disqualified in the contest for Queen of the Carnival because she came to Hanover wearing a filmy silk step-in rather than a sensible, warm silk and wool union suit."
Secretary, 90 Colony Road, Longmeadow, Mass.
