1934
Comes now the season when ye sec must perforce rock forward onto his toes in selfprotection against that very efficient little feller down there in Radio City who is engaged full cry in his crusade to convince you guys that it is nothing short of deep disgrace to finish anything but first in that league in which we play about this lime of year.
Clever, too, how he starts out bringing together March 17 and green paper and a little hunk of green string and all that talk about puttin' two good shots together. That March 17 stuff always gets some of us Iranians, sure 'nuff, but an awful high percentage of this class has been, for at least 20 years that we know of, interested in getting two good shots as close together as possible. Even when good shots could be equally classified as those that came out of (1) a jug in Pilver's cellar, or (2) the upturned bottle that fed the kitchen range in that same happy homestead on the Connecticut.
What with those New York fellers being so smart and havin' such a strong union and all, it is kind of hard to compete, but as Hazelton used to tell the QB's when in doubt to punt, it is always safe here when in doubt to serve that nostalgia on toast.
So when we were up-near the New Hampshire border and found no signs of the border guards, we slipped across and whipped for Hanover like all geddout, or even Charlie Meeks chasing Murphy around the Deke house. And in case you Californians think we're kidding about a border guard, we have a character here in Massachusetts named Henry Long (not '34) who takes a dim view of those who venture over the border to replenish their stocks of spirituous refreshments at reduced rates. You never can tell when he may appear on his white charger to, like the Ancient Mariner or, as Spain describes it, HowieMcHugh against Princeton, stoppeth one in three.
But to get back just a little closer to the theme of why we are gathered together in this place, brethren, would it surprise you to know that it was 20 YEARS AGO now that ... news items in The Dartmouth reported that in Lewiston, Vt. pre-prohibition brands of beer were going on sale for 19 cents a bottle with a three cent rebate on the bottle. And Joe Pilver would not sell beer due to the fact that he had not obtained a license... and that one G. Cogswell was scheduled to be toastmaster at the final banquet of the gym team (my character who appears in the Old Testament and who might be rubbed out here did he ever appear on the flying rings?) Ace Miller and Danny Schuyler were tied for the Forsell Cup, awarded each year to the gymnast scoring the most points during the year ... and that Norman Thomas lectured in Webster Hall, to a crowd which had to flow over from Dartmouth, on the subject of Franklin D. Roosevelt.... Bob Miller beat Princeton with two hits and 9 K's... and Dartmouth's first spring football in more than a decade grunted away over in the far corners of Chase Field ... that Ed Marceau led an illfated trip of the DOC to Camel's Hump... and Dick Emerson and party were chasing the last of the snow out of Tuckerman's Ravine. Emerson, says the news item, is veteran member of two championship ski teams and one of the best skiers in the East
... and Don Allen was leading a faculty trip of the DOC (and somebody told u.s he was smart enough to get those marks all by himself)... Joan Crawford divorced D. Fairbanks Jr... Mai Hallett, Irene Taylor and 500 guests appeared for Green Key as Bob Michelet diplomatically urged discretion... and a strange ad appeared in the pages of The Dartmouth: "Seward's Beer Garden Where the gang meets —W. R. Jet." ... the Green Key, show Brown of Harvard, a soul-stirring drama written to show the pitfalls of college life was a smash hit with Hedges and Hewitt in starring roles ... and several candidates for best dressed man of 1933 were bitterly resentful over the final ruling of Green Key on prescribed dress for the Prom. Potent advocates self-described as "Hot-Shot '34," "Tuxara Tailcoat" and "Flannel Cake" wielded an influential typewriter ... it was announced that the new hockey coach was to be one Herbert B. Gi11... from a column which sounded as if secretary-emeritus Jaxson used to write for the Dartmouth "Song for harassed Reserve Room Sitters, I'll be glad when you're gone, Orozco, you"... and variously-classified-edi-tors Danzig," Webb, Hess and Thompson dreamed up an Anniversary Supplement for the Green Key Edition of the Dartmouth which led off with "Weather-Monsoon approaches followed very closely by twister, watch your coat and hat."... Spring was officially in session.
In the MY GOODNESS HOW SPACE HASFLOWN CATEGORY we might insert the announcement that the annual social and softball excursion in the Catskills has been transferred to Long Island Sound where they can't make the hills too steep because they'd shut off the view.
Also VITAL STATISTICS as follows... daughter Holly Marie, born to William P. andBernice Stowe on January 9, 1953... while Col. and Mrs. Henry T. Allen of Washington and La Terriere, France, announce the engagement of their daughter Jocelyne to Dudley Tibbits of the U.S. State Department.
From the WE ONLY KNOW WHAT WEREAD IN THE NEWSPAPERS DEPT.... the New Hampshire Fire Insurance Company as of February 18 announced the promotion to Secretary-Treasurer of Harry B. Gilmore Jr. ... the New England Hospital Assembly in Boston on March 23 named William L. Wilson as president-elect of that organization. Bill is the third administrator of the Mary Hitchcock Memorial Hospital to hold this post... and Hafey Arthur, Tufts hockey coach, made the news as the vigorous representative of the Greater Boston area on the N.C.A.A. hockey selection committee.
The ADDRESS CHANGES will tell you that... Bob Adam has departed Akron, 0., for Miami, Fla.... and that two more of the brethren are to be congratulated on their promotion to civilian Goose Goss has left the 2nd Marines and is now located in Falls Church, Va., while Phipps Cole is now with Pratt and Whitney and is living in Manchester, Conn.
In the HERE AND THERE ITEMS this month, which means mostly that it's getting kind of late and they're standing around that mail box up in Hanover with baited breath ... we find that Moe Frankel has entered the political scene, but we also find it hard to coach you as to just where to begin stuffing the ballot box because of the skimpy information available from our clipping service. If you happen to be voting for a seat in Essex Fells, however, vote for Moe... strangely enough, too, as we beat away here with our two flying thumbs, the dulcet tones of J.Howard McHugh assure us that although the Boston Celtics are behind, they will no doubt emerge victorious in their contest with the N. Y. Knicks, which proves him only a loyal employee of the Boston Garden while we guessed just as wrong and it cost us money... and if you're looking forward to a good summer for your kids which includes a little more than getting poison ivy and sunburn, TedGregory is on the staff of Keewaydin Camps on Lake Dunmore, Vt, which specializes in innocuous injections of remedial English amongst the normal camp activities.
All of which seems to protect the franchise for this month, for better or for worse. And for those who earnestly believe it's for worse, we'll change our standard statement that it only costs three cents to fix it to an offer to return an uncancelled three cent stamp.
Speaking of three cent stamps, kidding aside, the Copper and that feller down in Radio City have been doing quite a job for us, and it's amazing the little bit more than a three cent stamp some of us would have to kick in to fix it so that assorted class agents from here to 1929 would be grabbing for the gas pipe. As the supreme sacrifice from an electric utility man, in this effort, please pro mote the use of gas!
ANNUAL '34 SPRING PICNIC CHEZ NELS KROGSLUNDOLD GREENWICH, CONN. 13 JUNE 13
Secretary, 12 Berwick St., Worcester 2, Mass. Class Agent, 370 Central Ave., Orange, N. J.
