Dartmouth ... All the Days of My Life
A DARTMOUTH WIFE
I MET a Dartmouth man at a party one night. He was witty and handsome and bright. Three months later he asked me for a date. I accepted and we went to a German Rathskeller where we met other Dartmouth men and their dates. We drank beer and ate pretzels, and I listened to Dartmouth stories.
We went out often after that. One day he asked me to go to the Harvard-Dartmouth game. I thought this was a rather ambitious date because we both lived in Washington, D. C. We went to the game and cheered for Dartmouth, but Harvard won. After the game we went to a party, and I met other Dartmouth men and listened to more Dartmouth stories. That was seven years ago.
I married the Dartmouth man. Every year we go to the Harvard-Dartmouth game. Since we have moved to Cambridge it is easier to get there, but I believe we would go no matter where we lived. "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature shall be able to separate . ." a Dartmouth man from the Harvard-Dartmouth game.
Nor can he be separated from any other Dartmouth football game. With the success of Mr. Blackman, the Dartmouth football coach, a large network of radio stations has arisen that broadcasts the Dartmouth games on nine fall Saturdays. I have learned not to plan anything that involves my husband on those days unless I want to be accompanied by the Dartmouth game on the transistor radio of the football team's most loyal supporter. In addition, there are the pre-game diagnosis and the post-game autopsy. These are usually done on the telephone with other Dartmouth alumni in the area. I cannot understand how he can remember every movement of the game without notes when the rest of his life operates from a memo pad.
This intense loyalty, however, does not stop with the Dartmouth football team. It permeates every aspect of Dartmouth activities. Shortly after our marriage we started receiving Dartmouth mail that seems to increase every year. First it was recruitment of students and then Alumni Fund drives. The drives are an ingenious device designed to fill Dartmouth's coffers year after year by capitalizing on the competitive loyalty of Dartmouth classes.
Before I was married I was introduced to the Alumni Fund at a "Dartmouth" wedding reception. Actually it was more like a Dartmouth reunion. A Dartmouth picture was taken for the ALUMNI MAGAZINE and the usual Dartmouth stories were told. The Dartmouth man I was with talked the entire time to the head class agent about why the recent Fund drive hadn't done better.
The Alumni Fund campaign is set up on the basis of an interclass competition called the Green Derby. Like most other classes, my husband's class is organized with a head class agent and numerous assistant class agents. He is an assistant class agent. The assistant class agents compete against each other on the basis of (1) increase of gifts over last year, (2) percentage of contributors, (3) total dollar contribution. My husband, John, is given the names of eight to twelve classmates in his geographic area whom he contacts to give money to Dartmouth. He pursues them with the maddening persistence of a hungry puppy. The drive begins April 1 and runs to July 1. Every week during April and May he receives a list of who has given. During June he receives this report twice a week. He receives a progress report on the Green Derby every week. In addition, the head class agent sends out a periodic status report on the assistant class agents' competition. John pounces on all this mail and reads, analyzes, compares, and comments on every aspect of the Fund drive. Then he calls other class agents in the area and discusses it with them. Perhaps my sense of perspective is limited, but I cannot understand why such a trivial task as contacting eight to twelve men to give money to Dartmouth warrants such enthusiastic endeavor.
The competitive loyalty of Dartmouth alumni is reflected in their record for giving which is second to none. This fact was borne out in an article in the Wall Street Journal. In 1965 Dartmouth was at the top among larger institutions in participation; 68% of its alumni contributed. Princeton was Dartmouth's closest rival in participation at 63%. The national average was about 20%.
John also receives the DARTMOUTH ALUMNI MAGAZINE every month. It is a publication designed to perpetuate the patriotic state of mind that exists among Dartmouth alumni. To insure that its graduates keep immersed in Dartmouth lore and don't lose contact with the College, Dartmouth sends them the ALUMNI MAGAZINE free the first five years after graduation. This magazine has nearly 100 pages filled with Dartmouth news. It includes news of individual alumni, Dartmouth sports, and current activities on campus. When the magazine arrives, John cannot be interrupted until he has read it from cover to cover.
I was aware of Dartmouth College before we were married, but I didn't know it was going to move in with us as a permanent resident. I am just beginning to realize how permanent it may be. I typed my husband's Educational Placement Registration for Harvard, and in the space after "Specific schools in which you are interested," I saw the name DARTMOUTH at the top of the list. In addition, our son was registered at Dartmouth the day he was born; and he has received a Dartmouth "brainwashing" from which the Chinese Communists could take lessons. I am afraid I shall have "Dartmouth" all the days of my life, and if our son goes there, it will all be doubled.
