Journal of a Long Season

Mon., Sept. 24: My senior year began today. I have been anticipating this fall, but somehow it is still difficult to believe that I am a senior at Dartmouth College when only yesterday I was a high school senior.

I recall my confusion in selecting a college from the many catalogues and brochures that cluttered my room. When the acceptances arrived, I decided to visit my three favorites.

I was awed by the Princeton campus and Jadwin Gymnasium. I was impressed by the reputation of Harvard and its proximity to the cultural activities of Boston. The Dartmouth freshman basketball coach, Bob McAteer, met me at Lebanon Regional Airport late at night in the rain and cold. The next morning I was over-taken by uncertainty as a fog cast a shroud over the Green, hiding ponds of mud. The first building I entered was Alumni Gym. Paint was peeling off the floor and the ball gave a hollow sound as it thudded against dead spots. The light green walls enclosed an area smaller than my high school gym in West Lafayette, Ind. Dark green mats hung on the walls crowding the end lines. The rims must once have been orange, the nets whole. Coach McAteer called it "a great home court advantage."

After watching Big Ten basketball in the 15,000-seat Purdue Arena, it was hard to fall in love with the Big Green.

Yet the longer I stayed the more I liked the town, the campus, and the people. At Dartmouth there reportedly was an emphasis on the undergraduate. I had a glimpse of it in the faculty I met and the students I talked to. As the sun burned the fog off the Green, I was somehow made aware that four years from that moment my memories would not be of buildings or events but of people....

Fri., Oct. 12: Thousands of people gathered in front of Dartmouth Hall tonight. A historic revival of Dartmouth Night festivities was taking place. The largest bonfire in the history of the College mingled black smoke and singeing sparks with the chimes of Baker Tower, the uncontrollable Rollins bells, the swirling fireworks, and the wild harmony of band, glee club and cheerleaders in this sometimes raucus, sometimes solemn celebration dedicated to a renewal of commitment to the College.

Tues., Oct. 16: The basketball season began tonight with an organizational meeting. There was a delay because some grade schoolers were watching a hockey highlights film in the room we were to use It seemed to fluster varsity coach Tom O'Connor because he almost forgot to introduce his new assistant coaches. One thing about Dartmouth basketball, we always have new assistants.

Mon., Oct. 22: The first day of practice. Billy Raynor and I are the only two seniors. Many of the nine sophomores appeared tense as it took nearly thirty minutes to get through lay-ups. The press releases give high hopes based on the success of last year's freshmen and the experience of the upperclassmen. As I look around me, I see some genuine talent. Words like "Ivy Champs" may be heard again in Hanover.

Thurs., Nov. 1: I spoke to a luncheon meeting of the Dartmouth Club of Boston. This is one pleasurable activity I shall have to forego until after basketball.

I told the Boston group about my previous day's French class with Professor John Rassias, who performed scenes from Oedipus the King. Near the conclusion of the play where Oedipus tears out his own eyes, the lights suddenly went out and flashed back to show Rassias with latex eyeballs dangling from his cheeks and a red dye covering his hands, arms, shirt, and face. This is typical total involvement with his students and subject matter. Maybe there have been other Dartmouth teachers who have inspired their students, who have reached out and touched them, who have taken the trouble to ask for more and to give so much more.

I too have known the joys of teaching.

Last spring a speech course was overenrolled and there were no qualified teachers available on such short notice. Professors John Neale and Al Ives asked me to take two sections. I was rewarded by the opportunity to work with many of my students individually in the evenings.

There was a shy young man in the back of the class who was looking out the window and appeared uninterested. After three days of this I walked up to him after class and said, "Gregg, be in my room at 8:00." He showed up. He was quite a bit smaller than I.

I tutored him and I gave ... and he gave more. He suggested ways to improve the course and I suggested ways to improve his performance. He got an A in the course and repaid me for my time and effort by saying, "It's great to know someone who gives a damn."

Sun.. Nov. 4: I returned tonight from a four-day workshop and colloquium of the Oral History Association. Charles Morrissey, who is currently working on an oral history of Dartmouth and is an advisor on my Senior Fellowship, introduced me to nearly everyone present. I particularly enjoyed talking about my project with John Barlow Martin of Northwestern and Forrest Pogue of the Marshall Foundation. The colloquium dealt with problems in research. Oral history supplements written documents with tape recorded interviews of people in a position to contribute to the understanding of a specific period.

The concept of a compulsory course for seniors, called Great Issues, was suggested by President Dickey in 1945 as Dartmouth's response to the need for general education in the College's curriculum. Guest lecturers spoke on Monday night and answered questions on Tuesday. On Thursday a local faculty member gave a background lecture on the issue under consideration.

I am researching the written records in the Archives and interviewing retired professors, administrators, and alumni about the course to compile a historical narrative of the period.

Tues., Nov. 6: I am a member of a student planning committee which met today to plan a second annual career conference, "Is There Life After Dartmouth?" (The title is courtesy Class of 1941, sponsor of the session.) We are inviting fifteen alumni from ten professions to meet for two days with students trying to make career choices.

Mori., Nov. 12: French 10 is a study of Greek mythology, with interpretations particularly of the themes of Electra, Oedipus, and Antigone by Greek and modern French writers. The slow and agonizing progression to man's full awareness of who he really is, of what he has done, of which gods he has defied, leads inevitably to despair, anguish, and devastating defeat. The naked confronta- tion with the human condition, the even more denuding realization of his limitations is the source of his grandeur. "Ni ange, ni bête, mais homme" - Neither angel, nor beast, but man.

Thurs., Nov. 15: Several of us worked to clean up Kappa Sigma for a reception tonight for Trustee Harry Dodds '57 after his speech to the Daniel Webster Legal Society. The Society was created last spring with the encouragement of deans Carroll Brewster and Gary Brooks who have given much of their time to help me and the other officers set a schedule of four speakers for the fall term. We have heard a Yale Law School professor and Bill Shure '61 of the Senate Watergate Committee. The club was formed because nearly a thousand undergraduates have expressed some interest in the Law but few of us appreciate the many facets of the profession.

Fri., Nov. 16: Houseparties Weekend. The annual Kappa Sigma Ball featured balloons, crepe paper streamers, and a dance band. So much for a flashback to high school proms.

No one could understand why I wanted to leave the dorm to live in the fraternity house this year. I lived in 10 Ripley Hall for three years with a fireplace and a private bath, only a few steps from the gym. Despite all of the criticism of the fraternities, instead of stereotypes I have found real people: a pre-med baseball player, an ex-footballer turned English major, a southern gentleman, and a rowdy New York Knicks-Rangers-Mets fan. One brother wants to be Governor of New Hampshire, another loves Bob Dylan and Mount Moosilauke. I share popcorn with a fellow from South Dakota and discuss the Indian symbol with another from Hartford, Conn. I confide in two lacrosse players - one has been accepted at Chicago Business School and the other is waiting for news from Virginia Law School. The fraternity system is overdue for a careful self-evaluation, but I can testify that in at least one house there are diverse and interesting people.

Sat., Nov. 17: The football team played well to defeat Cornell in their last tough game of the year. If they avoid complacency, a fifth straight Ivy League Championship should be theirs. We played our annual Green-White basketball scrimmage immediately after the game and drew a big, happy crowd in the mood to celebrate. Our spirits were high and the players were boasting freely, but the game was a disaster. Instead of having the varsity play the freshmen, we divided the squads. It was every man for himself.

Thurs., Nov. 22: I went over to John Rassias' home after Thanksgiving dinner, joining many of his other students. He hosted two members of a delegation from the People's Republic of China for dinner and the night. It was the first time the Chinese government had permitted members of a traveling delegation to sleep in American homes.

Sat., Nov. 24: I listened to WDCR as the football team won the Ivy League. At practice today there was talk of winning it all in basketball as well.

Wed.. Nov. 27: I spent the day researching written records about Great Issues. The various topics indicated the concerns of the day: international relations, atomic energy, moral responsibility. The course was intended to give a common intellectual experience to all seniors by preparing them to face these same issues as citizens. The incomplete nature of the materials convinces me that memories must be recorded to supplement written documents.

Fri., Nov. 30: We opened the basketball season with a loss to Holy Cross, 81-70. Our shot selection was poor; we were not patient enough to pass the ball for open shots. It probably was just first game nervousness.

Tues., Dec. 4: Our French 10 class performed plays for the Hopkins Center 12:30 Rep. Everyone remembered his lines and intensity was generated at the conclusion. Prior to this play I had no acting experience. After my performance, it is highly unlikely the public will clamor for my return.

We played Harvard at home in our first Ivy League game and lost by a point in a crazy finish. The score was tied with two seconds remaining. Against the coach's orders we called time out - with no timeouts left. Result: technical foul. Harvard made the foul shot to win 65-64. The locker room was still.

Thurs., Dec. 6: I had a meeting with the other Rhodes Scholar candidates and two former Rhodes Scholars, Bill Slesnick of the math department and Professor Emeritus Arthur Wilson. I was interviewed by the Dartmouth committee and am hoping to receive an invitation to be interviewed by the committee in Indiana.

Tues., Dec. 11: Home for the Rhodes interview in Indianapolis tomorrow. Dad and I talked about why I had worked in Washington, but had not taken many government courses; why I enjoy acting but do not see many plays; why I would rather play basketball than watch a game. I prefer to be a participant rather than a spectator.

Wed., Dec. 12: The last question of my Rhodes interview today was from a professor from Notre Dame: "I don't mean to pry into your personal life, but is there anything which really makes you sad?"

I paused for several moments ...

"Yes, there is. I was fortunate to be able to teach 80 students last spring at Dartmouth College and I saw them as 80 challenges. After 21 years as the recipient of education, I was able to give a part of my knowledge to others. As I reached out, some of my students reached back and touched me, rewarding me far beyond my contributions. But there were some students who did not improve, who did not spend enough time in preparation, whom I did not reach. I am sad when I cannot help people and meaningfully affect their lives."

The 13 candidates fidgeted nervously and made small talk for nearly three hours before we learned the judges' decision.

I was sad, but I did my best. There is some satisfaction at least in that knowledge.

Thurs., Dec. 13: My flight to Chicago was delayed by a heavy snowfall during the night. Rather than wait in the airport, I went downtown and watched Dad negotiate the settlement of a law suit against his client for property damage. I can hardly wait to practice law.

Sun., Dec. 16: The team arrived in Lexington, Ky., after losing both games in the Utah Classic in Salt Lake City. We played our first overtime game of the year last night in losing to Penn State. In the last few minutes, we became disorganized and our offense failed.

Fri., Dec. 21: We played a fine first half against Kentucky, but then gave up numerous fast break lay-ups. We were never in the game the second half.

Billy Raynor and I had a sandwich after the game, then sat outside our rooms talking about the team. Other players joined us in the hall. We began with problems with the coach and ended with race relations and stereotypes in relations between all people. Pretty heavy stuff for early in the morning after losing to Kentucky.

Of all the athletes with whom I have competed, Billy Raynor is certainly the most outstanding: fully aware, sensitive endowed with depth of character. I have seen him play roles as a jock, a clown, and a sage. We won together freshman year, we struggled together as sophomores, we met John Rassias together in France, and for the last two years we have suffered together. By all logic I should never have known Billy; he is from the inner city of Boston - I am from the Midwest suburbs; he hopes to play professional basketball - I enjoy the competition; he is black - I am white. We have spent much of four years together and I am glad we have.

Sat., Dec. 22: Billy and I bought a present for our trainer. Bofor our trainer. Bob Dagenais, and made the presentation at our training meal. Billy said Dag was more than a trainer, that he was a great "people." I guess the significance of his remark was lost on those who were not in the hallway last night.

We played the consolation game against Ohio State. Though Kentucky and Stanford were playing later for the championship. the 16,000 seats were almost filled when our game began. We lost 85-80, but I was exhilarated that we had played so well and that my game was in gear. Pride and self-satisfaction come with any achievement and especially in a top-rated tournament before a large crowd close to home.

Tues., Dec. 25: Christmas Day. As Mom always says when her children come home for the holidays, "Isn't it great to have the whole family together." I have learned many things from my parents: from Dad, a powerful optimism no matter what the adversity - the belief that a firm resolve to achieve excellence will finally succeed; from Mom, a concern for other people exemplified in love for humanity.

Mon. Jan. 7: Our basketball practices were from 10:00 to noon and again from 4:00-6:00. We were so tired and sore from the first session that the second practice accomplished little. I find the mental strain more exacting than the physical punishment. One of the values of athletics is that it pushes you to the limit of your physical and mental endurance, and then demands more. When your gut hurts and your feet blister, when each breath burns on intake, you still dive for the loose ball and sprint back on defense.

Wed., Jan. 9: Classes for the winter term started today. I have decided not to take my courses and to concentrate on the Senior Fellowship. I stopped in the Dean's Office to check the status of my file for law schools. Dean Brewster and I talked about the Rhodes interview and other ways I could study in England next fall. He suggested I apply for a Reynolds Scholarship from Dartmouth and maybe try the Rhodes again next year. At what other school would a dean take such an active personal interest in his students?

Thurs., Jan. 10: We are leaving today for games at Penn and Princeton so I will miss the meetings of the Alumni Council. The Council only meets twice a year and this weekend is a joint session with the Board of Trustees. I feel disappointed that I could not meet some of these men and fulfill my responsibilities as the undergraduate representative on the Council.

Fri., Jan. 11: We stayed at a Philadelphia hotel last night and had breakfast together this morning. I called my freshman coach, Bob McAteer, and agreed to meet him at his Assistant District Attorney's office in City Hall. Last spring he left coaching to become a prosecutor.

In the second half of our game with Penn, we shot 20 per cent compared to their 50 per cent and lost 89-50. Winston Churchill once said, "Success is never final. Failure never fatal. It's courage that counts." After shooting 20 per cent, courage is about all you can claim.

Unless one has been in a group endeavor where the final effort is far greater than the sum of the parts, one cannot appreciate the joy of freshman basketball or the magic of McAteer. He knew the game and understood our limitations. He made it a pleasure to play.

The two of us had dinner after the game and talked about everything from basketball, to the Law, to how to motivate people. It has been said that losing builds character, but Mac taught us how to win. As a coach, he treated each of us differently: some praised, others prodded, some verbally abused, but he was a vital part of each of us.

Sun., Jan. 13: The bus ride back to Hanover gave me a chance to think about our season. The spirit had been good before the weekend in the hope of beating either Penn or Princeton on their home courts. But after last night's loss to the Tigers, it is indeed time for an agonizing reappraisal. There is something about folding my long frame in the seat of a bus that confines the body but frees the mind.

To coach basketball at Dartmouth is a challenge for any man. The nature of the admissions process precludes undergraduates who love only sports. The DCAC has decided to schedule major teams like Kentucky, St. John's, Ohio State, and North Carolina without giving a full commitment to the program. If Dartmouth truly means excellence in history, English, and math, then Dartmouth should mean excellence in basketball with skilled instruction to train and develop talent in players. Losing is only a symptom of the more basic problem of players who have practiced together for three months but have not worked as a team.

Tues., Jan. 15: Martin Luther King would have been 45 years old today, but he never reached his fortieth birthday. His goal was that there should be a day when "every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain and hill shall be made low, and the crooked shall be made straight and the rough places plain."

Sat. Jan. 19: While we were playing Delaware this afternoon, the career conference that I had helped plan was ending in Hanover. After losing our first eight games, we beat Delaware by six points in their gym. The offense was disciplined and we managed good shots and balanced scoring. On the same day when Notre Dame broke UCLA's 88-game winning streak, Dartmouth began a streak of its own. There was a lot of whooping and hollering in the locker room, but there was no real sweetness. When the season began, the expectations had been grand but something was lost when we had to wait two months for our first victory.

Mori., Jan. 21: I spent most of the day reading about the efforts in general education at other colleges. The Great Issues course received the most publicity because of the number of well-known speakers, but Columbia had been first with its Contemporary Civilization. Harvard adopted a General Education Committee and St. John's used the Great Books approach. My advisors have given me independence while encouraging a disciplined approach. Though I had some reservations about sacrificing nine courses for the Senior Fellowship, it has been worthwhile to work closely with these distinguished gentlemen and benefit from their kmowledge.

We practiced with the freshmen today and in the words of one player, worked on the "most messed up drill yet." In the locker room, a freshman player asked if we could talk about the Legal Society and the best courses for law school.

I have been fortunate to have benefited from the advice of many people at the College. There is a spirit which is noted in John Kemeny's words to the seniors, "You are at this moment at a cross-roads in your life. May you take the turn which will make the rest of your life meaningful and of service to your fellow man. Men of Dartmouth, all mankind is your brother, and you are your brother's keeper."

One such person has been John Rassias. My freshman year the Danforth Foundation gave him the Harbison Award for Gifted Teaching, citing his "concern for the student as an individual, and commitment to ethical and spiritual values."

While no material object or grateful words can ever fully express my appreciation to the many people like him, maybe the best thanks I can give is to somehow contribute to the well-being of another person. I invited the freshman player interested in law school to join our next guest speaker, West Virginia Judge Richard Neely '64, and me for dinner.

Tues., Jan. 22: I spoke with Mike McGean, Secretary of the College, about the Alumni Council meeting and the schedule for the June session. When he asked me what role I thought the College should play, I answered partially from the context of my research. As Great Issues attempted to give seniors an awareness of their responsibilities, Dartmouth should continue to be concerned with educating people, to be concerned with encouraging humane-ness.

I had dinner with the other Senior Fellows and the faculty committee at Thayer Hall. Every two weeks we eat together and then meet, usually at the dean's home, to discuss our projects. After leaving practice early, I met the group in the biology building to hear a report on another Fellow's project. Between his operation on a rabbit, EKG print-outs, slides, and formulas, I was impressed by how similar were our techniques of research and analysis on two very different projects.

Wed., Jan. 23: We led Springfield College by as many as eleven points before losing by a shot at the buzzer. The locker room was cramped and dingy, the floor was poorly lighted, and for the third year in a row we lost to talentless Springfield.

Thurs., Jan. 24: There is something about basketball that lends it to instant analogies to life. In fact there was a popular song this fall, "Basketball Jones," employing such metaphors as "the free-throw line of life." The five players are united in a common goal by a round orange inflated object. It is cherished because without it you cannot bounce it to a teammate or feel it roll off your finger tips and spiral through the cords. When a team plays together there is anticipation of the other men's movement and repetition that becomes instinct. When you can do no wrong and excellence is achieved, there is a shared vibration.

After practice I considered a wild idea that may be the commencement of a great experience. I thought of combining my interest in public service with the technique of oral history to compile a book of Profiles in Service along the lines of John Kennedy's Profiles in Courage. Though headlines report men corrupted by power and influence, there are many people in public life dedicated to service to mankind. Why is it so hard for many to recognize sincerity?

Sat., Feb. 2: This was the week that might have been. Last Sunday, after losing at home to St. John's, the coach began practice by reviewing the previous night's effort. A player's comment precipitated an hour-and-a-half discussion of the frustrations of this 1-10 team. Some of these problems admittedly have been of the players' making, but our basic problem has been a failure in communication. Monday night we helped Vermont break its long losing streak, falling short by ten points. There was still reason for optimism because we were only 0-3 in the league with eleven Ivy games remaining. Friday and Saturday nights Yale and Brown were not willing to help US tUrn the season around We are now 1-13.

Sun., Feb. 3: Charles Morrissey and I interviewed Arthur Wilson in his home this morning about his years as a member of the Steering Committee of Great Issues. After long hours in the College Archives, the real fun of the project is the conversations with the many men who shaped the course.

Wed., Feb. 6: I spoke today with Dave Kastan, an instructor in the English Department. As he talked about his years coaching basketball and teaching before coming "to Dartmouth, I fully appreciated the quality of his commitment.

Dave had seen all our home games and we talked about basketball. I soon discovered we both love the game because it teaches discipline and preparation for competition. I told him about our freshman year when we played a defense which double-teamed the ball. Offensively, we kept our big men near the basket and opened lanes for the guards to penetrate. We practiced the various situations: one point down with ten seconds left, four points ahead with two minutes to play. We had tip-off plays and several out-of-bounds plays. The twelve freshmen were prepared for almost every situation in every game, and as a bonus we were 15-3. This was excellence in training and discipline in achievement.

Sun. Feb. 10: This weekend was Winter Carnival in Hanover but I spent Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights in Ithaca, Liberty, and New York, N.Y. Coupled with our win over Boston University last Wednesday, our Cornell victory gave us a two-game streak. Saturday night we played in the Columbia gym where it seems every seat is obstructed by a pillar. A running track above the bleachers restricts shots from the corners and the band wails throughout the game. Instead of sweeping this Ivy League weekend, we lost to Columbia by two points. We had the ball with eight seconds remaining but a play never materialized. The best we could do was a frantic shot. It has been a frantic season.

As I dragged my suitcase across the green, I saw the Mickey Mouse snow sculpture and many people skating on the small rink. There was a band playing in the living room of Kappa Sigma and the peoPle were dancing, drinking and being happy It was the last hurrah of Winter Carnival.

There is a lot of winter left, and in the crisp, clear air, I think back to my decision on which college to attend. I could not have made a better choice.

Walking with fraternity confidants BruceWilliamson (center) and Dave Cranshaw.

Point-making in a mock legal debate withCollege Dean Carroll Brewster (standing)and Assistant Dean Gary Brooks.