1981

The Wages of Syntax. Expletives deleted.

Now we're all adults, aren't we? Mature and all that? So let's face it. I simply can't continue to be exploited like this, month in and month out.

Sure — you have your way with me every four weeks or so. And then what happens? You hide me away; you never take me out. I'm discarded like a used kleenex. I feel so cheap.

Don't you understand? I have to be read again and again and again! But no. No more. We're through . . .

Well, maybe just once more, but this is the last time! Tales Past. Missed shots.

Well, if I'm going to do this again, I should at least clean house. A few items went down in March that I ought to get on paper. That's right, I missed the paper the last time.

Anyway, after the lamb came in and before the lion went out, Doug Buchanan and his wife Katia gave birth to nine pounds, four ounces worth of cuteness and 3:00 a.m. diaper changes named Sophia Louise. Actually, Katia was the only one to undergo labor. Doug is working for the San Francisco law firm of Pillsbury, Madison & Sutro, and he hardly had time to get pregnant.

A couple of weeks before, on March 13, Jim Jankowski ended his engagement to Lynn Medina '80 in one of the most effective ways possible — marriage. Chris Andrews reports (as best he could, considering his addled condition) that the festivities were well-attended and appropriately messy. The entourage that arrived in Marion, Mass., included the likes of Chip Bettencourt, Ken Fagan, Mark Burton, and Mark Uhrynuk. Chris "Spot" Morrison was the best man (but that's a title not a value judgement).

O.K. — now on to some later breakers. Hard Day's Journey Into Night of the LivingDead. For reel.

On the other coast, that former god of the Hop, Van Spurgeon, is playing with celluloid in the hopes of becoming another Truffaut . . . or at least another Blake Edwards. He is working for Comworld Productions in Sherman Oaks and lives in Beverly Hills. Van whistles the Flamingo Road theme song on his way to work every day, and also reports his engagement to a head of cabbage. No date has been

Paralegals. Not to be confused with a parapants or.ParaComo.

First you must understand that being a paralegal does not mean that you are a part-time felon. It simply means that some day you'll be smart enough to refuse a breathalizer test when you're pulled over. And a number of 81s are involved in legal training.

David Carradini is struggling with a daily two-hour commute from Long Island to a Park Avenue patent law firm. Jane Scanlon and Mary Kate Worden are doing similar work for a small Fifth Avenue firm.

Howard Morse, on the other hand, has chosen the academic road at some technical school in Cambridge, Mass. Howie will be released for the summer to come ply his trade (a phrase I've always liked) in a Chicago law firm. Bill Jenkins is also hitting the books before he hits the streets, by letting Stanford professors show him the path to jurisprudence.

The Ozone State. Still more from the people that brought you Ronald Reagan and the Grateful Dead.

I'll try to keep the California news short, but it keeps rolling in.

Wendy Brooks is in S.F., making contacts and working for concert impresario Bill Graham (that's the guy that introduces the Playboy bunnies in Apocalypse Now, not the guy that prayed with Nixon).

Also in the area are Weyman Lundquist and Ken Cook, who are rumored to be enrolled at Berkeley's graduate school of engineering.

Sorry, but that's all the West Coast news I'm going to use this time. I know there's more, but time is running short. Endzone. Last licks.

Lawrence Serrano, that lovable bonebreaker, is going to become a doctor. No, really, I mean it — an M.D. Lawrence is basking in Tucson's sun and preparing to go to the U. of Arizona in the fall.

Winni Levy is in Jersey City as a city planner for the New Jersey Division of Urban Research and Design. That includes everything from land use surveys to commercial and residential rehab. Winni reports that Linda Gill is living right below her and is working with the Newark office of Prudential as a financial analyst.

Randy Bodner, who is kicking back and awaiting law school, writes that Don McNaughton has announced his engagement to Christy Shareall, who graduated from ColbySawyer last June. They're planning a September wedding in Buffalo.

The news goes on and on, but I don't. So I'm stopping. Here. Now. So . . .

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