1981
Preramble to the Convolution. Welp, information processing systems are actually beginning to achieve desired ends, kids. In other words, I've received so much new and used dirt this month that we will be able to dispense with my usual obnoxious palaver. (I hear you cry.) Really! No fooling, I'm serious. There is a veritable mound of news staring me in the face, and I have absolutely no space for the typically mindless drivel to which you've become accustomed. What's more, the lies are starting to come from the hinterlands, so I can start spreading libel and innuendo about all kinds of people. Yay.
Like Flies. Mark Matuschak writes about the first in a bevy of '81 weddings, this one somewhere outside the soot-soaked confines of Philadelphia. Geoff Hathaway is the groom, and Parmington (Harold of same) would be proud of his boys' turnout. Any or all of the following were rumored to be in attendance for the fearful bash, which went off the second Saturday in October: Steve Risberg, who made his way from Hanover; Bill Wright, who also made the voyage from New Hampshire, where he is progamming his way through the Nashua-based arm of Digital Equipment Corporation; Al Ritterband, who trekked all the way from U. Penn. Law School; and maybe, just maybe, the ever-rhetorical Steve Benenson, who was at least metaphysically present from the Cornell School of Jurisprudence and Sophistry.
Mark was in for a busy weekend apparently, because on the next day he was due in Maine for "Nuptial II: The Sequel" - this one involving Bostonian banker Todd Bachelder, who graduated from Tuck last June, and Jody Holmes, who did the same from Colby. But that's not all!
"There's more?" you ask
That's right! In this one-time, mixed-bag special, you get still more matrimonial matchups! The next knot-tying is reported from Ellen Brout, the ever-confused and frighened one with the unsurpassable Pepsodent smile. She writes that Rick Lathrop (he of the D.O.C.) and Sue Bowden (she of Holyoke Mountain) got together in their hometown of Bridgewater, N.J., and altared their single status in August surrounded by a host of crazed, immord '81s (note the redundancy). Alec Winters and Jim Wells flew in from Denver (the former was best man, the latter was worst), Lisa Conte jogged up from San Diego, and Bish Mumford strolled over from the family farm in the megalopolis of Griffin, Ind. Chuck Battey was also in attendance from the Big Apple, where some of the contingent ended up post facto for some depravity Manhattan-style.
And, believe it or not, here's yet another wedding, Dartmouth-style. Barbara Barker married Robert Schulze '79 back in August, and the two really must have the granite of New Hampshire from head to toe; they said their vows in Rollins Chapel, held the reception in Alumni Hall, were presided over by minister David Hill '79, and had as bridesmaid David's wife, Ingrid Gustavson Hill '82. As I've wonderedbefore, does this constitute an incestuous union?
Great Expectations. Now, that takes care of all the weddings, but here are some before-andafter shots. Carolyn Gesner Cannon and her husband Frank '80, are expecting (though by the time this is published, they will already be dealing with the patter of little feet), but no' word on gender or nomenclature (that's sex and name) to date.
Tom Kiernan and Kathy Rackow have made their engagement official, with the date set for sometime in November, as soon as they experience the inevitable ennui of kayaking in the Grand Canyon. Life's tough all over.
And the only extant '81 in the N.F.L., JefFKemp, has announced plans to marry next May, assuming, of course, that the strike hasn't pushed the Rams' schedule into the summer.
Hot Flashes. And here is the latest off the wires:
Andy Augenblick has returned from a sojourn in Venezuela, where he was risking life and limb with an investment bank. Andy has opted for the more conventional, though by no means safer, halls of Harvard's Business School.
Ken Mundt, after finishing his master's in English at the University of Virginia, has made the next logical, intuitive move: the U. Mass. School of Public Health, where he is studying the science of epidemiology. Perhaps Ken will be able to tell us some day what epidemic has been infesting Sanborn House for lo these many years.
Also in the New English umweldt is Tom Farmer, working as weekend anchor for Burlington's WCAX-TV. And with what Farmer knows about the medium and the message, I imagine most of Vermont will be under his control by the end of the year.
Back from Hamburg, Germany, where he was studying (and believe me, I quote) "the ramifications of hairless rat snout skin in the research of cholera and green-apple two-step," Rick Silverman continues to prove that homo sapiens does not necessarily connote intelligence. Fortunately for the American medical community, Rick is "back in Hershey, deep into pathology." Some things never change.
Finally, Patty Walton has repatriated herself after a stay in Leningrad (that's somewhere east of Short Hills and west of Lajolla if you're a Review fan). Patty will be attending the Fletcher School at Tufts. We can only hope that she'll get Jenny Toolin out of Boston's red-light district; really Jenny, tuition just can't be that high.
The Deep End. And so we come to the finish of another epistle. But before you close up your magazine and stack it neatly in the kitchen wastebasket, take pause for a moment. 0.K.? Fine, now pitch it.
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