1981

. . . Now, where were we? Ah yes! I remember! You were in the process of stuffing an envelope with all the cash in your house and sending it to me, weren't you? That's right. Cash is a burden, after all, and given the financial climate, you'd rather have your assets in legit shelters like municipal bonds. Or me. So send all those bothersome, voluminous, and altogether declasse greenbacks to the above address. That way you can concentrate on high finance and leave all the low-brow, quotidian liquidity problems to yours truly. Good thinking.

Imagine if enough currency made it my way, I could provide you with some real, honest-to-goodness, first-person reporting. I could go to Edinburgh and find Justine Cassell, who is on a Keasbey Foundation Scholarship to study theoretical linguistics. (You're reading practical linguistics.) Justine writes that everything is under control way up there: "I am neither married, engaged, nor pregnant, and have no intention of becoming any for a long time. My thesis next year is on how efficiently an eight-year-old can describe the whereabouts of buried treasure to another, blindfolded eight-year-old. And there are those who don't see the use of a post-graduate education."

Look all I need is enough scratch to buy a cut-rate Icelandic ticket to Paris. Then I could tell you all about Eric Beatty, who is miming his way through Le Coq Drama School on a Reynolds Scholarship. Or about Alain Moureaux, who is reputedly working for an American law firm there. But no. You won't find out any of this, 'cause I don't have the fiscal wherewithal.

Leon Blum once said that "morality may perhaps consist solely in the courage of making a choice." And you can make that choice! Right now! With a tax-deductible contribution to the annual Jerry Lewis Dirk-a-thon, held every month to raise money for down-and-out Dirks all over America. Give enough and you'll get them off the continent. For example, I'd head straight for London to find Alex Doty. Alex is studying international relations at the Mick Jagger School of Economics, and I just know that he'd be delighted to put me up for a few months. Wouldn't you? Super, I'll be by on Friday.

I suppose if I don't amass enough capital to make it to Europe, I can always follow the Monty Brower example. Monty has "scraped together $300 and headed for Hollywood with typewrier in hand." That's pretty tough considering that he owns a Selectric.

Mike Lempres is already out 'in the land of quakes and quacks. Mike is at Berkeley studying the practice of law (That has always bothered me why don't they teach real law instead of practice? It would do wonders for the court system!), and I'm told he has plans to head for Hong Kong, where I imagine he'll become embroiled in that little, hundred-yearold tenant dispute that the Brits are having with the People's Republic.

Anyway, back here in this, the nation's capital, '81s keep popping up all over, causing groundskeepers and maintenance workers no end of trouble. Nina Tannenwald, for example, has returned from West Germany's Goethe Institute to work for a Quaker lobbying group called the Friends Committee on National Legislation. Nina will be going to Columbia's School of International Stuff in the not-toodistant. Dee Daly is also here in this, the nation's capital, attending Georgetown's Law School. Word has it, though of course I .never have it, that Dee will be heading up to the Manhattan D. A. 's office for the summer but that's unconfirmed, so I'd better not put it in just yet.

Also here in this, the nation's capital, is Sue Pabst, who has announced . . . well, what do you think she's announced? You got it. In June of 1984, Sue will be marrying a fellow "Foreign Service Officer (ahem) named Dave Bowman. who serves as third secretary in the Kingstons, Jamaica, Embassy. Again, life proves re" tough for everyone I .know.

Beth Tonneson has also announced her en gagement, scheduled to come to an end inS tember with, of all things, a wedding. Julian Bull has likewise announced, though no details on time or station. Stay tuned. Finally, on the post-matrimonial front, Sue Hess became Susan Hess Elliott (oh please, I hope I spelled itright) last February, and she is now sequestered in Portland, Maine.

So much for the wedding scene; here are some final hot flashes.

Julie Whitney is supposed to be in Manhattan these days. Jules is displaying the impeccable taste that has made her a talking point up and down the eastern seaboard, buying sundries for Macy's. Also in New York, Jeannie Boutelle is working for Control Data, while holding down the '81 financial store as Rich Page's Big Apple surrogate. But why send money to the class, when you can send it to a real, needy person? Which brings us back to where this all began. Me. Now listen you could be robbed tomorrow, right? Or swindled out of every last dime by some smooth-talking slimeball. Soger rid of that vulnerable cash reserve now. Don't wait another minute.

Finally, before I run to the mailbox, I should give you a brief rundown on class activities as assessed at Green Key/Class Officers Weekend in early May. Not to worry. Bob Burgess has everything under control. We're setting up a few mini-reunions (at least one of which will be engineered by Dave Edelson, a frightening prospect) and thinking about class gifts, etc. Most important, the search is on for a reunion chairman (I know it's a long way off, but we're going to spend $6.7 million, so we're starting early). We're taking suggestions, nominations, and volunteers.

And as long as you're in a charitable mood, perhaps you'd be interested in some real estate I have here in this, the nation's capital . .

P.S. Thanks for the note, Natalie.

803 C Street N.E. Washington, D.C. 20002