1980

Tales from the Crypt, Volume XIII, Chapter 7: Yesterday's mail pile contained the usual amounts of refuse: several scratch-and sniff mailers for Elizabeth Taylor's latest perfume ("Eau Brother"), a brochure for time-sharing in Dade County, two pounds of catalogs from Land's End, utility bills (gas, telephone, cable, and beer cooler), my pre-season fantasy baseball newsletter, come-ons from various accountants, brokers, ambulance chasers, and other service providers who are the veritable protozoans of the food chain. One letter stood out, however. It was addressed with the finest calligraphy I've seen since Hillary Clinton's name-change announcement. Inside, the engraved card read: We are pleased to announce that George S. ("the Boss") Springsteen has become a member of our firm effective January, 1993 Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft Washington D.C. Founded 1792

Howdy, pardner! George also enclosed a personal note: "Well, I'm finally growin' up, back in my hometown Washington, and I'm on fire. This town is truly the promised land, but, of course, without connections you'd be up the proverbial river. Then again, with the Democrats running the asylum, to get a handout all you need to do is raise your hand. Every day here is like the 4th of July. Independence Day has always been my favorite because the night is filled with fireworks which for once shed light on the darkness at the edge of town. My fiancee Bobby Jean has given me reason to believe that two hearts are better than one. She's the one. We got engaged on Valentine's Day in our favorite Italian restaurant in the backstreets of Washington. We had just uncorked another bottle of Chianti Rosalita and point blank, I asked her to marry me. What a night—we were dancing in the dark until dawn. It's hard to be a saint in the city. As for work, you probably gathered from the name it's not a spare parts store for auto mechanics. I sure hear my fair share of lawyer jokes now. (Q: Why are lawyers buried 20 feet underground? A: Because deep down, they're really nice people.) Anyway, it sure beats working on the highway in Nebraska, which is what I did before I had a hungry heart. After all, I may be a cautious man, but it doesn't mean that I don't walk like a man. As you well remember from Olive lacrosse freshman year I was born to run.

"Best wishes, and see you in court, George," Paper Chase II: Congratulations to Peter"hold the" Manus, who has been named assistant professor at New England School of Law. Peter was formerly an environmental attorney with Peabody & Brown and Goodwin, Procter and Hoar. He will teach family law and environmental law at the school, and he is raring to go. For some, launching another career is a whole new ballgame. This reminds me of Hall-of-Famer bullpen great Rollie Fingers on his ill-fated experiment as a starting pitcher: "I was so bad that instead of dragging the infield, the grounds crew would drag the warning track."

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