1993

Yo. After spending a primary care clerkship working with Navajo and Hopi Indians in Tuba City, Ariz., Cally Gwon returned to the friendly confines of Hanover to finish her third year at Dartmouth Medical School. Back in New Hampshire, she got engaged to her D.M.S. classmate, Scott Schulter.

Greg Schmolka sent me a postcard from Lake Havasu City, Ariz., where he spent a week at the "Return London Bridge 1996 Convention." Greg first filled me in on some background information. Apparently, London Bridge really was falling down and slated for demolition. Those Brits had no idea how devastating the annihilation of such a cultural icon would be. Luckily, some ridiculously rich oil baron stepped in and airlifted the con- demned bridge to Lake Havasu, where there is no lake. In fact, it's a desert. Which brings us to Schmolka. Since the early sixties, a small but ever-increasing movement was mobilized to return the bridge to its namesake city. "It's really a travesty to see this magnificent bridge marooned in an American desert! The banner of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II streaming from the upper trusses amid a backdrop of lazy Saguaro brings me to tears; it has no right to be here!" At the convention, Greg was named honorary American and will grand marshall the Summer Parade.

Becca Meyercord's quick thinking and fast action saved the life of a neighbor last winter. Supporting her beloved Dallas Cowboys at a Super Bowl party, Becca performed the Heimlich maneuver on a choking football fan (no, not the Buffalo Bills), freeing a large chunk of Monkey bread from his throat. "I'm so glad he was a Cowboys fan, if he'd had on a Steeler jersey I just don't know what I would have done!'Jesper Johansen accepted a small role in a Danish television soap opera. He plays a mid-level accountant who has captured the heart of the soap's main character. Jesper's debut was a torrid, tempestuous tryst which only lasted one episode. In the next segment, Jesper was hit by a city-transit bus and has been on life-support ever since. At last report he was garnering excellent ratings.

It was a major disappointment to be sure; we'll be back next year," sighed an obviously dejected Alison Arians after she was forced to withdraw from her first attempt at the Iditarod sled dog race. "The dogs and I had worked really hard all year and to have to withdraw is just painful. But I think we'll be able to use this as a learning experience and come back even stronger next time around." Alison was forced to drop out of the race when her dogs became disoriented and recalcitrant on the competition's second day.

News regarding everyone's favorite newsletter editor: "I've endured all kinds of put downs and doors slammed in my face, but this was just too much. There's only so much you can give Gregg Serenbetz before Gregg Serenbetz has had his fill! I'm out of this God-forsaken city!" At least he was for a little bit. Having been declared non-essential, Gregg packed his bags and set his sights on the career of his dreams, life insurance. As soon as Washington reopened, Gregg came crawling back begging for a job, any job.

I'd love to hear what the rest of you policy wonks and wags did during your vacation from the murder capital. Send all the news that's fit to print (and you might as well spice it up with the juicy stuff) my way.

Still never been declared non-essential.. .Happy April.

140 Edgewood Drive, Central Valley, NY 10917-9762

Jesper Jobansen engaged in atempestuoustryst, was hit by abus, andcontinues on lifesupport in hisDanish soapopera debut. CHRISTOPHER ONKEN '93