Bulldog, Schmulldog

Handsome Dan went to the wrong school. At Dartmouth dogs rule.

1917

The Dartmouth proposes canine affinity housing.

1934

The Jacko dogs are born. The first words out of their mouths are, "You oughta go down to the Gym and sweat it out."

1953

Humorist Corey Ford notes that President Dickey's retriever walks him home every night on a leash, "to make sure Dr. Dickey doesn't run away."

1963

Human hairs are found in Thayer Hall food. An Irish setter sends a letter to the Daily D complaining, "If the ASPCA found out that dogs were dining at Thayer there would be hell to pay."

1991

A stray golden trips up a couple of Cornell players during a freshman football game. The frolic costs Dartmouth 15 yards. The ref is booed.

1991

Booter, a member of Sigma Phi Epsilon, goes after a postal carrier. The post office stops delivering mail to Webster Avenue.

1993

Dartmouth's committee on dogs bans man's best friend from College-owned residences. Dogs are still welcome at privately owned frat houses.

1994

Hanover appoints its first dog control officer, and the response is predictable the officer is bitten by a Dartmouth dog.

1995

In preparation for Tubestock the brothers of Theta Delta inflate 25 inner tubes. Cassius, the house dog, deflates 25 inner tubes with his teeth.

1996

"On behalf of the Zeta Chapter of Psi Upsilon Fraternity," begins a letter to the editor, "we would like to point out an error in the October 10 issue of TheDartmouth. Carson, the sheepdog pictured on your front page, is in no way "Psi Upsilon fraternity's sheepish dog." The dog is merely a transient, and is in fact unaffiliated."

1999

"Dartmouth Goes to the Dogs" is the Winter Carnival theme. Students, in protest of the College's plans to change the fraternity and sorority system, leave the giant canine snow sculpture unfinished.

All this wag needs is class numerals.