GOOD HAIR

As a Cape Verdean in America I often feel I am forced to choose between black and white and “other.” I prefer to choose other because I’m neither black nor white, but being in between creates problem for others trying to classify me. Here in the United States I identify as black, which is the more comfortable category to fit myself into, but I feel like an immigrant stepchild to black American culture.

To make up for the lack of recognition by my fellow black people I tend to adopt my friends’ accents and mannerisms and try to appear “more black.” i’ve become a great actress in the role of black American. My accent changes from Southern to Midwestern to New Yorker, depending on where the person i’m talking to is from. i’ve learned to talk about black hair and leave my hair curly to keep from looking “too white.” I stay out in the summer sun as much as possible in order to get a deep tan and appear “more black.” i take classes in African and African-American studies, where I often feel that comments from lighter- skinned and African students are delegitimized because we have not gone through the same expe- riences as the African-American students. Once again there is the divide between Us and Them.

At Dartmouth I think I won over most of the student body: I was seen as black, though some people were still surprised when I announced I was in the NAACP or part of the Afro-American association. i sometimes wished i didn’t have to mount a campaign to win people over to the identity I have chosen, that I could just be Cape Verdean and be seen as what I am instead of trying to fit into a single category of being black.

regrettably, my family’s ideas about racial identity are less evolved than mine. i don’t think they are racist in terms of color, but they are against what they see as the black mentality, based on stereotypes perpetuated by the media and the poverty-stricken environment so many blacks live in. my father doesn’t want me to associate with black Americans, whom he views as lazy, stupid welfare users. he’s always surprised when i bring home black boyfriends who are educated, but they are never good enough for him: “he’s pretty edu- cated…for a black boy.” my family and i constantly fight over the way they address black Americans, but it’s hard to change their way of thinking when they continue to see the effects of poverty on the black population. This makes it difficult for me to explain to them how their words affect me: it’s hard to live in a world where fighting for what you want to be seen as is not supported by your family members.

ANA SOFIA DE BRITO '12

A Latin American, Latino and Caribbean studies major, De Brito is completing a post-baccalaure- ate year in premed sciences at the University of Vermont.

“regrettaBly, my Family’S IDEAS ABOUT RACIAL IDENTITY ARE LESS EVOLVED than mine.”