"RAY DART WINS GOLF CUP"
"Flashy Chicagoan Upsets Dope and Canters Homean Easy Winner with 115
"Bradford, Vt., June 17 (A. P.)—A fine field of divoteers bowed on this tough and lengthy course to the skill of a practically unheralded youth from Chicago in the one-day tourney of 1918, held today.
"The tourney got under way immediately after dinner, with Dan Shea calling the shots and holding the Hood Trophy aloft as a spur. A 1 Gottschaldt knocked off the first ball in actual competition, to the cheers of the multitude. A 1 tried to make the green in one with a mashie-niblick, a touchy effort of some 82 yards downhill. Many saw the synthetic Georgian swing, but in the ensuing shower of dirt and pebbles nobody caught sight of the ball.
" 'He needs a steam shovel,' whispered Mrs. Tom Shirley, picking a divot out of her ear and tossing it back on the tee. A 1 drove three more, by which time the tee was completely demolished, and a temporary one was established by laying out Fat Sheldon and throwing a green carriage robe over -him.
"In the scramble to follow the devious courses of the favorites, numbering such stout fellows as Stump Barr, Ty Tyrrel, Ed Mader, Ben Stone, Tom O'Connell, Sime Gordon, and Lop-the-Loop Earley, the gallery quite overlooked the quiet Dart, who went his way regardless.
"By five p.m. most of the players (if I may coin a word) had completed the arduous round and were being shoved up the cliff by their caddies. Some were lost in the high grass, among them Wart Mc-Elwain, Mader, Hal Ross, the Flying Laundryman, Prof. Fish, A 1 Rice, and Lymie (Two-Quart) Burgess. These returned the following Monday, with a set of scores which amused the committee. Syl Morey, the Golfing Blimp, broke loose from his ground-rope and was rapidly being borne aloft in the tricky winds which made low scoring impossible, when his plight was discovered by Wild Bill Shellman barely in time to effect a rescue.
"Curt Glover, the final warrior to put in an appearance after an afternoon in the swamproot and canebrakes lining the course, checked in with a 109, which looked good for a win until Shea drew the lucky number out of an old-fashioned pinchbeck bottle which was pried loose from the nerveless hand of Burgess.
"The winner, when congratulated in Dr. Tripp's sanatorium in Topliff that evening, made no further comment than to say, 'I was sure I'd win, if the thing was on the level. The fact that I am greatly surprised in no wise detracts from the good work done by the golf committee. If Mr. Hood or any other member of the class will drop in on me in Chicago I can promise him a cold one straight from the spout.'
"The low gross, or net, or whatever it was, fell to the lot of that handsome Worcester realtor, Tay Pay O'Connell, after a toss-up with Ben Stone, the Massachusetts Menace. The fact that Mr. O'Connell was not present when the coin was flipped is a consideration which we could not help mentioning. So few honest men are connected with the promotion of sporting events nowadays.
"Earley, as was expected, romped off with the trick-shot prize by writing, 'Buy More Insurance' with his slice, and then bouncing the Dunlop on a cow's head in an adjacent pasture for a period."
Morey continues: "After the picnic Sunday afternoon everybody rushed back to Hanover to get in shape for the big party at the Nugget Theatre. President Jones had personally arranged this affair, and it had been the topic of conversation for days. Jones himself had passed the word, 'Whoop it up to the wives about the Nugget show, boys. It will be a wow ! Gustafson Hardie Zulick Gottschaldt—Barr—Howland—Chauncey 1 Hood—Curt Tripp, and all the old headliners will appear.'
"In Scotty's at dinner the blow descended on us. A messenger from headquarters broke in with the sad news that the Nugget was locked tight and the show was off; but Jones, with keen forethought, had chartered the reading room at the Commons and summoned all hands there.
"On the way to the Commons, Andy Ross and Tommy Robbins delivered a short oration in front of the C & G House on 'lt's blessed to be a bachelor.' Andy later confided to Ed Felt and myself that he thought Tom spoke a little loud. We were forced to admit that we hadn't noticed Tommy at all. We had thought it was a monologue by the Baron.
"A scene of wild gaiety smote us at the Commons. Mel Weston was picking out a tune on the piano with one finger. Jones, Mader, Barr, Burgess, and Howland were almost asleep over old copies of Spur, and Zulick was arguing with Hal Doty and John Cunningham about 'Wiho would occupy the most comfortable chair.
"It looked like a swell night to sleeps—so we shoved off for Topliff. But Topliff was not in a dreamy mood. A 1 Gottschaldt was on the lookout for customers to fleece in the great southern pastime of rolling little squares with dots on them. He had already cowed Storrs, Mahoney, Shea, and Holton into joining when he pounced on us.
"We adjourned to Tommy's and Ed's room to go into conference there. But 'do not disturb' signs are not held sacred in Hanover, and we soon had Jones's lively troupe with us and a certain bespectacled youth whom Storrs and Felt greeted as a long-lost friend.
"By twelve o'clock we had entertained that end of the dorm long enough with our oh-soclose harmony, and hearing that Sully was holding a rally, we dashed up there, first dispatching a corporal's guard to the Junk to see that Shea and Ross were put aboard the midnight.
"King Cole Sullivan had been enthroned in some sophomore's morris chair, and graciously received us and poured out a libation. Cunningham, anxious to get in ahead of his turn, started work on a ginger ale bottle, discovered in the bedroom, and was not a little upset to find that he had up-ended straight Pyrene. He passed this bottle to Jones, who sampled it, declared it excellent, and would take nothing else all evening.
"Big Business Gottschaldt demanded that it was time we had a business meeting to elect officers and do all the other hokus pokus that goes with a regular Atlanta convention. He asked the impeachment of the entire 'lB administration, but said he would be satisfied with the ousting of Jones, as none of the other officers were present. This was seconded and unanimously voted with a wild outburst of 'ayes.' A suitable president was then looked for. Cunningham was suggested, but was too busy to consider the offer, as he, with the aid of Red Wilson, Tyrrel, Felt, and Robbins, was trying to shove Sullivan's bed out the window. Lewie Huntoon then nominated himself, but the married men called him a bachelor and a few other unpleasant things, and his boom collapsed right there. Everybody else was then considered one by one and voted down uproariously. Bunny Holden 'l7 was the only man left in the room, so he was promptly taken into the class and declared president on the spot. Unfortunately no one is sure whether Bunny accepted or rejected the honor in a sterling speech that followed—'no one' including Bunny. Where do we stand on officers now? Not very well, no. matter how you look at it.
"And now there is no more Tenth for 'lBa Fifteenth and a Twentieth, and -a. lot more. Here's hoping we have as good a lime every five years. It's something to make life worth while."
At the First Tee, Bradford, with 18's Divoteers All Set to Begin Excavating
