CLASS OF 1918
HOW LONG WILL IT LAST???
With a view to getting a line on this socalled Depression (it is really a hell of a panic, and don't let 'em fool you any longer!), your correspondent sent out a staff of field workers to get reactions from leaders in various businesses. A brief summary follows, and good luck to you, I'm sure:
R. Colie, pettifogger: "Years, at least. The records disclose exactly similar condition in 1775, 1830, 1898, and 1907. (See: People vs. Krappshuter, also People vs. Sneep. People pay all costs.) There's nothing ahead, and it will serve a lot of guys right."
E. H. Earley, you know: "Oh, things aren't so bad. We go right on serving those with vision and courage. This technical readjustment has taught many persons the true value of providing for the future by the way, how's your albumen these days?"
R. Munson, M.D.: "People will always break legs and get colds thank God!"
F. Cassebeer, druggist: "The same goes for me. Now if our inner tube and bathing suit lines would only pick up, we'd be all set."
D. L. Barr, broker: "We are glad to see that stocks are at last passing from weak hands into strong ones even if the latter are only using them to paper their bathrooms with. Have one of our new weekly letters we are giving away ten shares of AT&T and five shares of Con. Gas with each."
R. A. Holton, savings banker: "What depression? Boy, we love it! Except when they give us a run for the money."
K. T. Rood, Telephone Cos.: "We're making the grade. Sure. Our girls (you needn't spread this around) simply get more wrong numbers, and don't think good old John B. Subscriber doesn't pay for them, either! Catch on?"
S. Jones, managing editor: (Mr. Jones, unfortunately, could not be reached. He was finally buried under a steady snowfall of jokes and humorous MSS. on the subject of the depression some three months ago. The other members of Judge are tired of digging for him and getting along better than ever). Don Bliss, traveler: "You fellows ought to get away from it all and move over to Singapore. Over there we can like kings for HELP! HELP!!"
D. F. Shea, market tipster: "Personally (and don't quote me) I think things will change for the better next spring. Of course, we've got to go off the gold standard in February. Then we've got to get jobs in March for some. 20,000,000 unemployed. In April we have got to get accustomed to a new form of government Communism, I think they call it. Once we press our pratts to the grindstone and quit complaining, everything will be jake."
S. M. Morey, advertising: "If you hear of a job, I'll take anything."
Ned Ross, banker and war veteran: "I have just read Mr. Morey's summary of conditions, and can say no more than that I subscribe to it heartily. I do feel, however, that bankers—being the corner stone of every community—should be informed of any new developments first. Here's my phone number."
Gene Markey, Beau Brummell: "Joan and I haven't noticed any gloom. We believe in Eddie Cantor's advice and philosophy."
Monk Cameron, fruiterer: "When fruits and vegetables are way down one can always soar in a plane."
Jake Bingham, milkman: "Everything is hotsy-totsy on Sundays when Jake Jr. collaborates with his dad."
Al Gottschaldt, bally-hoo: "I tell you Atlanta is a grand place, and there's lots of money to be made here. It's all so easy in Georgia even for a duffer."
Al Street, pictorialist: "Securities, what a headache? I've switched to photography. At least the New Haven Railroad and the General Electric Cos. my work in that field."
1918 Class Notes, ALUMNI MAGAZINE: "Just about to roll over and play dead. Nothing at all coming in, and long-promised relief never arrived. What do you readers think of the 1932 prospects?"
Secretary, 95$ Madison Ave., New York
