1930*

With mingled, i.e. blended, spirits (7% Olde Scribe and 93% neutral spirits) we approach this first stanza of the tenth and final canto. Only eight more loth-of-the-month deadlines to meet with fact, fancy— and verbiage! Yet with this merry prospect, the tender melancholy of the end to a position of honor and malediction in a noble and ornery class—an end to being Minister of Propaganda, Public Enlightenment, Culture, and the Multiplication of the Species, repository of the pardonable pride of Thirtymen in new brides and new brats, new jobs and jocularity; Keeper of the Books, Forgetter of the Facts, and Scribbler of the Scribbles. There is a miniscule tear in our large and 99% delighted eye.

REFLECTIONS ON THE THIRD TERM

Unlike some others who also enjoy toasting their larynx before firesides, we take an unequivocal stand on the mooted third term question. A Yellow House spokesman (come up and see us sometime) has let it be known that we are agin' it. [A private Gallup poll (Copyright 1939) has indicated we might as well beat you to the

draw. We are not going to be coy about this. Following this early resignation, we anticipate a surge of "Draft-Dickerson-For- 1940" movements. To the "We-Need-Dickerson" clubs of Indiana, South Dakota, and the Insular Possessions, of Stamford, Chattanooga, Atlanta, and Alcatraz, greetings. And then, at the eleventh hour, from our Norwich, Vermont, homestead, we will scribble, by lamplight, on an old piece of Kleenex, the momentous words: "We do not choose to run in 1940," and the news will go thundering down the valley, to every hamlet and hotspot, wreaking we know not what havoc and hoop-la. And that will be that.

While, realist that we are, the poll had something to do with this, the following communication, recently received, clinched it:

dear skip you will remember me you d better I am andy ten years ago i used to wrap myself around the space bar of an old rattletrap typewriter in the jacko office and punch out prose and poesy with my muscular but cultured scolex which you published in a column otherwise mediocre or worse and i must say that the benefit of my worms eye perspective on life broadened your horizon no little skip no little i finally found that old typewriter which the jacko stole from the dartmouth way back when cowley was editor it has since been filched by the doc le cercle francais il popolo romano the council on student organizations germania and palaeopitus and where do you think it is now question mark in the chess club exclamation point and to think of the lilting prose and free verse i have written on that old wreck and now it is used to make chess dates with harvard and probably even bennington period sic transit gloria wormi well a dizzy decade nas passed debacle depression deflation democrats debts and now decimation i tell you skip life has been no bed of predigested pap for us parasites in and out in and out but as prexy once said quote change is opportunity unquote and that goes for worms too i have been in some pretty swell places since 1930 and seen some glorious peristaltic action maybe i will tell you something about it in my next if somebody will leave some paper in the typewriter in these parlous times hanover looks pretty nice pretty nice through half a dozen american wars and god knows how many others and still a serene place for dartmouth men and worms to come back to i am going to be at that reunion in june no matter what so you might as well make me an honorary member and invite me otherwise the party may be on you i figure it is about time for a new deal in 1930 boss you have been an average to fair secretary but we are due for a change boss a change you know perfectly well every class needs some new blood or it goes to seed and frankly skip 30 is getting just a touch seedy boss a touch seedy after all ten years is quite a stretch i get around you know i get around and a lot of the boys are getting just a little bit fed and in some spots even nauseated at the parasites friendly society the other night lorinda the louse who is a lulu with a special liking for thirtymen says andy says she i am going to support haffenreffer for secretary on the theory he will throw hops to the populace all dickerson throws is words well i says how do you know he 11 resign he won't have to says she but he will he will say you can t fire me exclamation point i resign of course he will resign i rejoins just as a matter of form and then a couple of dopes will tell him what a great guy he is and he will think it is the voice of the people after a couple of beers they will say skip old boy you re a great guy and we don t want any secretary but you and he will say tut tut eating it up and they will say nobody but you skip old boy and he will say well fellows if thats the way you feel about it you know that line lorinda as lorinda says sometimes i think a college education is wasted on ninety percent of these fellows who know they need a change but will sit back like a lot of gentlemanly sheep and let a time server who fancies himself stay in office until his too long deferred demise if he wants to just because they are so pusillanimously polite well boss don t fall for it thats all i've got to say you have been to Sunday school and you know what mene mene tekel upharsin means period well i'm getting toward the bottom of this sheet but in case you don't think i get around i will tell you some things about yourself snub and mary poehler came in to see you and broke the news which you ought to have known if you were any kind of a secretary namely that win hatch your hanover neighbor is going to pullman Washington to teach biology at the university of Washington kirk jackson popped in breathless from golf and said he would pop in again but didn't al allyn the associate actuary who usually eschews the scurrilous scribe cautiously called at the very end of a three weeks vacation with daughters age six and two and got sympathy for his sufferings from phlebitis parenthesis more generally known as milk leg an affliction of nursing mothers parenthesis closed red alcorn the torn dewey of the nutmeg state relaxed from rigors of righteous prosecution at the wizard of oz at the nugget after sending the wicked witch of waterbury to jail with all her wicked winged monkeys and now with the nutmeg legislature also in recess red returns to peaceful prosecution as assistant states attorney he says paul duback got a law degree which is not on your book and red thinks he is practicing in madison Wisconsin it seems to me skip you ought to know those things question mark phred chase the phlorida photographer came to see you as did van and doris vanderbeck and ed benoist after swearing he wouldn't come anywhere near left a note under your door the gene zagats of various realty corps were encountered at the wigwam and the less said about the joint visit of c rauch and j chandler the better you cut a ridiculous figure at deck tennis with ev and dot low and their three charming lads at lake morey sam alien should have known better than to ask a guy like you with all except seat muscles atrophied to climb the white mountains with him but then he is used to the keen young high school graduates with whom he does vocational work for the ny a in steubenville ohio the haffenreffers and bud frenches and the rest of the getchell gals would rather not couple their names with yours in print re your descent on rhode island so we will skip that for that matter so probably would the john frenches who came to hanover from Woodstock to trim the ruddy hair of their roistering young bucks before going to burlington Vermont to practice law fulfilling a long yearning for the country and a non yearning for new york for which you can t blame them period this is enough my delicate scolex is worn to a nubbin pounding this tripe you dish out so all too copiously i was born to higher things now take my advice to heart and if you want some more leave some paper in the typewriter in the chess club love and kisses andy

THE PHIZ ON THE BARROOM FLOOR It is, of course, Chandler '30 on the homefloor in Plymouth, Mass., following a ballgame of the '3O Greens vs. the 30 Greens,called after 514 innings on account of tallgrass. Cigarettes (left, center) are advertising for Jack Crawford, while insignia of awell-known brewery, barely discernible,are build-up for 30's Tenth. Photographsent anonymously from Bristol, R. I.

Secretary-Chairman, Administration Bldg., Hanover, N. H.

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