1935

Wives have kept records for class secretaries, they have written letters and gathered material, they have even edited these columns. Here, in this issue, we frankly turn the entire '35 column over to a Dartmouth wife. May we present our wife and guest columnist - Nell McCarty. ...

In a moment of pure folly, McCarty ups and says, "Nell," says he, "Why don't you write my ALUMNI MAGAZINE column this month. Write from the point of view of Dartmouth wives... what they think about the College... the privilege of being married to a Dartmouth man ... the Fund ...things like that." Says Nell to herself, "this is dynamite." So I write to as many '35 wives as I can. My query, in brief, went like this:

"Suppose a naive young girl, precious to you as a daughter, confides she is engaged — to a Dartmouth man! The least you can do is offer the poor child a few words of counsel. For she faces a perilous future with that most curious species of husband — the Dartmouth man. As this is the first time (and undoubtedly the last), that a 'sger's wife will have her say in the hallowed pages of this publication, let's make the most of it. S.O.S. your thoughts and advice. Mail to Nell, mark it personal."

Being averse to causing any marital fracas, I shall list my contributors at the end of this symposium, so that no husband will know which wife said what. I hope.

FROM THE FEMALE MAIL BAG

"I submit that the following items, at least, should be carefully considered before one elects to become an auxiliary member of the world's screwiest group:

You can't be a delicate flower. You either ski, swim, play golf, tennis, shoot skeet, climb mountains, dance, drink, drop dead... or you sit home alone ...

You must be able to listen — at least two-thirds of the time. (And to act like it's the very first time you ever heard what you're listening to.) I've often thought it would be worth it to get divorced and marry some other character who went to a different college, just to verify this one point: that my husband and his associates, to a man, would say ... 'there is another college?'

Have an independent income. I've never heard of a bunch of men so dedicated to giving hunks of their hard earned cash to an institution. Not that I object to this. I think it's a simply wonderful thing. But on many occasions when I've been given my free choice of a new dress or contributing to the Alumni Fund ... well, it would be nice to be independently rich.

"— Don't let him try out dimly remembered gambits from his undergraduate days. We made applejack once, only he forgot you had to keep replacing the cork. The explosion was heard for several miles.

"- And last of all... don't be thin-skinned. For you will be given to understand, however cute you may be, that nobody, but nobody, could equal ('ya' shoulda seen her!'), the Carnival Queen of thirty foo!"

KEEP READING, BOYS

"It is true. Marriage to a Dartmouth man is actually a way of life. In the beginning, it is a case of love me - love my college. I am sure I heard all about the place within a few hours after meeting (name deleted): about Eleazar, about snow sculpture, parties, and skiing down to class after weekending in a D.0.C., cabin. It all sounded great and glamorous to a mid-westerner. When we went back for a combined vacation-honeymoon trip I was completely charmed, indoctrinated, and influenced - to the point that all of our children (as it turned out) - are sons.

COMMENTS CONTINUED....

"Of course, she's under terrific pressure and she'll marry him anyway. But... she is marrying Dartmouth along with him. She is from that point on out, the possessor, willynilly, of a huge assortment of uncles, cousins, what have-you ... that are all labeled, back of the ears, 'Dartmouth.' If that is not to her liking, she had better put her skis away and head for the tropics - or Cal-Tech. ..."

"... this privilege is fun sometimes, a burden at other times, and now and then downright boring. But I figure it would have been my loss never to have experienced it...

"There is only one person more enthusiastic about Dartmouth than a Dartmouth Man, and that is — his converted wife This is a vital college, and it is turning out men ano ideas which the world needs.... I am proua to be a Dartmouth Gal. ..."

FOLLOWING FROM WIFE OFAD AGENCY MAN (liquor acct.) ...

"... My husband has gone off to Louisville, and left me with nary an idea - much! It seems whenever the distilleries have an excess of whiskey, they call the agency men down to solve the problem. Result: when the agency men leave - no excess. Problem solved. Obviously, his success in dealing with this type of problem came from years of training West Lebanon alcohol, with 'coloring an flavor' supplied by a sterling outfit in Boston Our 2nd daughter entered Skidmore this fall, where she might just possibly encounter some Dartmouth men and we have warned her of all the pitfalls!"

AND FROM HAWAII

"... I have never been to Hanover, and. until 1941, never paid much attention to my own Hawaii. ... All of a sudden, on January 20, 1945, Hanover and Hawaii, and the spirit and hospitality of each, were forcibly brought to my attention - the date of our wedding. Perhaps you do not know that if it had not been for the Dartmouth Club of Hawaii and the Kappa Gamma alums, the chapel would have been empty. To our delight and amazement, both corps appeared, en masse. In wartime Honolulu, this was a very special effort we shall not forget.

"Now ... to this defenseless girl: "Be Prepared. ...

... to meet the most wonderful people imaginable ... your husband's Dartmouth friends and their wives.

... to spend hours listening to hysterical (to them, anyway) accounts of what happened years ago. Don't interrupt. Or even let on that you're around. It's amazing what little gems of information will fall your way. ... to help in the work of the local club or association, a job your husband may gleefully accept. You, of course, will do all the work.

... to become just as enthusiastic about Dartmouth as your husband. You can't help it."

MIDWEST SPEAKS

"I might never have seen the campus or the color and beauty of New England — or Minnesota. After all, it gets as cold one place as the other.... I'm still moth-proofing, moving around, and storing the same overcoat (not topcoat) that my husband wore in Hanover twenty years ago. That's in case we move far north again. I suspect that overcoat represents his wishful thinking to return to a space-in-time, remembered for some of the happiest days of his life. ... As for words of counsel to 'some deluded, defenseless young girl,' I can only say that some twenty years ago, I fell for the 'Dartmouth Line,' hook and sinker, and have been blinded by the glories of the Green ever since (and I'm a hard girl to convince)."

"I would be pleased if any of our sons showed up there, even if it is too damn far away."

That winds it up. Am afraid that some letters will be arriving after deadline time, but thanks anyway. I am permitting myself no comments re my own Dartmouth Man. HE knows who's putting this thing together.

Now, for the promised names of my correspondents. In no order whatsoever, they were: K.H., J.H., N.M., V.P., R.C., B.K., M.D., K.C., V.D.

Secretary, 17 East 45th St. New York 17, N. Y.

Treasurer, 62 Prince St., West. Newton 65, Mass.