1978

Real World, Act II, Scene 2:

Not much news rolled in this month — kind of what Johnny Carson would call a slow news day. This is too bad, since I have decided to turn over a new leaf and begin writing with the gentle discretion of an Esquire reporter. I considered replacing the column this month with the Earth Science 2 lecture after the first midterm (the one you all missed), but I decided that would be irresponsible. Consequently, I've inserted several columns from the L.A. FreePress classifieds, titling this issue "Dear Lonely."

Since the Alumni Magazine editors have decided to censor the Free Press, I am forced to return to the mundanities of our classmates. Namely, Leonard Weiser-Varon has proven that there is, truly, life after The Dartmouth. Leonard has sent me the details of an interesting night of slumming in Atlantic City with Bruce Davidson, Helen Andrews, and Kelley Fead. It was hardly the most intellectual of activities, but these Dartmouth youths thought Atlantic City represented a good opportunity to get rich quick and stay moderately sober — wrong on both counts. In fact, all of the modern tap systems in this fun city spewed out oranges, plums, and cherries (never all the same) rather than beer. With crushed spirits, the foursome returned to the real world and their respective positions — Kelley as an editor for a Washington-based newsletter; Helen as a vital cog in an international conglomerate; Bruce as a vice president of a printing press manufacturing company; and Leonard as a real estate novelist.

Leonard also filed some headlines for other '78s. Specifically, Gordon Holbein has finished his first year as a Mormon missionary in Nagoya, Japan. Marc Copobianco is 80 lines into his choral ode on the South Moluccans — a splinter group of those who used to inhabit South Mass dorm. C. Jeff Smith and his wife Les have returned for Jeffs last year at Cornell Business School.

Class President Scott Brown has spent the last year visiting friends and "easing" into law school. Here are the fruits of his labors. ToddAnderson has been working for a construction firm in Boston in a job that has the added benefit of flying him to sunny places like Joliet, 111., to run spot audits on construction sights. Ann Hoover is working for J. Walter Thompson and running the Hoover Hotel in San Francisco. She claims to love the city and the job, but may move on to a larger advertising market, such as Canton, in the future. JimBassett and Dave Dalury spent the summer biking and hiking around Europe. Dave is now back in the States looking for acceptable med schools, while Bass has remained in Greece to look for bike trails. Jim has recently left the University of Virginia Law School, and MarkBrandt has taken his place. Fortunately, Mark has another Dartmouthian to look after him, since Chris Hughes is his ambition leader. And Wendy Thurber is starting her second year of nursing school at Case Western Reserve, which doubles as a bank in the midst of Cleveland's financial woes. Well, Scott, I'm amazed that one person can accomplish so much in the space of a year!

"Whatever happened to Tom Garden?" I'll bet you are asking. Rumors abound, placing Tommy anywhere from selling diapers in Providence to singing baritone for the Village People. I know for sure, however, that one Saturday night in September, Tommy served as the sole disco leader for 12 lonely Skidmore women, according to intelligence reports filed by roommates Curt Oberg and Drew Breen. Sounds like an underhanded plot to dethrone the King of Cool.

Other names and faces in the news this month: Peter Maglathlin is still peddling IBM machines in the New Hampshire area, wishing to remain in this fertile hub of industrial activity; Doug Bradley lost $20 (one keg) at the Traverse stakes on his bet for Secretariat to show — he claims that the bake-off was successful, however; Frank McNerny is beginning his second year with Merrill Lynch as a traveling auditor; Debra Diegoli is traveling down the road from her native White River Junction to be a schoolmarm at the Cavendish School; and finally, Dan "Rocky" O'Connor is making plans to get married soon, with a reception scheduled at the dynamite factory (Rocky is marrying his hometown honey, who waited for him to graduate while waiting tables at the Tally House).

Thus, another episode of Ivy people in the real world comes to a close. And, taking a lead from our friends at Playboy, I'm going to advertise this issue in such major media as WTSL and the menu at Lou's. Have a good month.

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