'85 Out

The class of '85, having survived the rites of freshman trips, orientation week, and convocation, presumably is now savoring Paradise Lost and other entrees on the academic menu. But who is the class of '85?

Raw statistics: the class of 'B5 is 1,054 people, 626 men and 428 women. One comes from South Dakota, one comes from Sri Lanka, one, by the name of Orozco, comes from Mexico, 191 come from New York state, none comes from lowa. But who are they?

Let us turn to the Freshman Book. Josiah Hill '56, the College editor, publishes the Freshman Book, compiling pictures of 1,000 or so mostly smiling faces, putting faces to names and addresses, listing names by dormitory, names by home state or country, and concluding with three football cheers ("Short Cheer: Dart-MUTH, DartMUTH, TEAM!") and eight College songs ("The names of the various opposing teams are interchangeable with the word 'Harvard' in these songs"). Hill, a man of intricate mind, also offers a first-name directory, in which the first names of all freshmen appear alphabetically Aaron Hill, Aaron Richardson, Ack Acker, etc.

presumably so when Marcy Marceau hears Keith Gggnnn shyly mumble his name in an English 5 class she can go back to her room and positively identify Keith Goggin. Who?

Exactly. We find out who the freshmen are in the first-name directory. They are liltingly Hibernian: Brian, Bridget, Cathleen (and Kathleen), Claire, Colleen, Deirdre, Eamonn, Erin, Fiona, Kevin, Mac, Matt, Meghan, P.J., Sean (and Shaun), Terry, and Tim. They are, 30 of them, unisexually Chris (or Kris). But at 45, John, Jon, and Jonathan beat all. There is a Cricket and a Bull and a Grayhound. A Grog and a Gump. A Dip and a Dirt and a Doof. And, it says here, a Bush Doctor and a Quaalude and a Wanasomdripa. That's who.