Slapstick, er, -shot

The men's hockey season mercifully ended February 25. The 1983-84 squad earned two dubious distinctions, one for most losses in a season and the other for most penalty minutes. Despite the disappointments and frustrations, the team still had its share of fun.

Take sophomores Paul Dion, Dan Nugent, and Marty Sims for example. Not only classmates, roommates, and teammates, they also are linemates. And they're also Dartmouth's answer to the Hanson brothers.

Who, you ask? Remember the campy movie, "Slapshot" a few years back with Paul Newman and former University of New Hampshire skater Michael Ontkean? Although not exactly a theater classic, it has reached cult status among hockey players and fans.

When Dartmouth traveled to Montreal in December, "Slapshot" was shown nearly 24 hours a day as the inhotel movie. Occasional technical difficulties led to a barrage of complaints to the front desk most of them from the Big Green skaters.

The Dartmouth team can recite the dialogue nearly perfectly and imitate actors right down to Ogie Oglethorpe and the goalie, Hanrahan.

And somehow along the line, with the exact moment of birth unknown, Dion, Nugent, and Sims became the Hanson brothers, the rugged yet childlike skating trio who know all the tricks with the stick both good and not-so-good and who travel on the road with toy cars.

Nugent one day made a fast trip to Hanover's local hardware store to purchase three pairs of the Hansons' most identifiable trademark. Heavy-rimmed, black, plastic glasses.

Not knowing what the reaction would be at practice yet daring to test the waters, they adopted the Hansons' kamikaze skating style in addition to donning the glasses and blew out onto the ice at Thompson arena.

"I laughed/' said Coach George Crowe, a-wide grin crossing his face at the memory. "I had no idea what they planned. The effect was tremendously funny.

"And Paul, Marty, and Danny are similar to the Hansons on the ice they make up a neat line that just runs around and is very disruptive to opponents. They work very hard."

Said Dion, "We're the most emotion al guys in the lockerroom just like the Hansons were in the movie. So it all worked out."

Added Nugent, "Our line does a lot of hitting." And then he added sheepishly, "but not much scoring."

Sims explained that the routine has picked up steam. Shortly after the rock-em, sock-em Yale game at Thompson Arena (a 4-3 Big Green win with plenty of penalties), the trio's other roommate, David Foster, re-labeled their lockers, replacing Dion with "Hanson," Sims with "Hanson," and Nugent with what else "Hanson."

Even equipment manager Brian Savery got into the act. When it was time for a Hanson team photo, Savery issued the numbers worn in the movie, 17, 18, and 19.

"Do Nugent, Sims, and Dion make road trips with toy cars, a la Hanson?" "We thought about it," said Nugent with a laugh, "but we couldn't scrape the cash together. Poor, struggling college students, you know. We opted for textbooks rather than toy cars."

From 1 to r, sophomores Paul Dion, Marty Sims, and Dan Nugent strike a pose as the fearsome Hanson brothers. Not even agood sense of humor could do much to salvage the team's spirits.