1980

Tales from the Crypt, Vol. XI, chapter 8. The sky's the limit or is it? Chick Woodward is taking part in a year-long project at the University of Minnesota. The goal is to construct a spectroscope which is to astronomers what a set of Ping irons is to golfers. Chick, who went above and beyond Professor Jastrow's "Earth, Wind and Fire" many moons ago, is on loan from the University of Wyoming, where he earned his master's. "I'm still adjusting to Minnesota," he says, "and I have yet to see my first Golden Gopher. But I can't shake my Wyoming roots because my favorite bumper sticker is still 'Cowboys do what Cowgirls like'..."

Up in the Air, Junior Birdman: In a perfect example of "what goes around, comes around," consider Bart Littlefield. When Northwest Airlines bought his employer, Republic Air, Bart bailed out and landed at Precision Air in Boston. Precision, you may recall, is the airline which flew those old Fokker biplanes in and out of Lebanon Airport under the comforting corporate moniker of "Scare New England." Precision Air, which might be the perfect oxymoron, subsequently encountered a little turbulence. So our hero, who is in the institutional sales end of the airlines business, looked for sunnier skies elsewhere. And Bart found them at you guessed it Northwest Airlines. "Everything has worked out well," Bart concludes, "and Brylcream wants me to do an 'I came back' commercial for them."

To Sir With Love, part 2: Down in Philadelphia Mike Roberson is busy wrapping up his master's in education. With an eye toward teaching in elementary school, Mike says Philadelphia has changed for the better. No longer is it the city of brotherly shove. "Frank Rizzo went the way of the buffalo years ago," says Mike, "and I haven't heard 'Second prize two weeks in Philly' for quite a while."

Return to Mudbowl: Merle Adelman writes from Andover, Mass., that all is well at Hewlett-Packard. The pride of Thayer Dining Hall long ago sold all her gold coats to Century 21 and is on to bigger and better things. Her duties as a marketing communications manager entail travel to exotic ports of call like Dallas, Austin, Washington, Chicago, and San Jose. On a recent trip to California, Merle tied in a visit to Lake Tahoe with Laurel Smith for a little cross-country skiing. Although severe drought has kept snow conditions at an all-time low, that didn't phase these veteran members of the Amazon Ski Team. Merle took one particularly rough tumble down the trail and landed in a quagmire the likes of which she hadn't seen since the boys of Kappa Sig and Phi Delt flooded their backyards. She's still cleaning that good old High Sierra sludge out of her Hushpuppies. Merle reports that Bob Burnham also works at HP as a purchasing manager. He can produce all the $600 hammers you can use.

As the Brides Go Tearing By: Congratulations to Susan Green, for whom the bells will toll this June. May your hope chest runneth over, and remember marriage counselor Phyllis Diller's simple advice: "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."

Make Way for Ducklings: Raise a glass and welcome Peter Owen Scannell Jr. who arrived February 28 and was an immediate hit in the Mount Sinai maternity ward. Weighing in at 9 lbs. 6 oz., Junior immediately challenged father Pete to a no-holds-barred Greco-Roman tussle. Jean wants to keep him out of action until Wresdemania XXV, "The Crib War."

Dear Mike: I've been a faithful subscriber to the Alumni Magazine for over 10 years and you've never written about me. What gives? Am I a total loser destined for anonymity? How can I rate a few sentences in the next column? How can I get you to poke fun at my friends? Please answer in confidence.

Dear Secret '80: You've raised a lot of good questions. In a nutshell, I welcome all correspondence. If you write to me, I'll write about you. It's as simple as that. And I'll print whatever you want. It may be not pretty, but it'll be all yours. However, if you don't write to me, I might still write about you. And that could get ugly. Enough said?

Until next time, think spring and meet me at Fenway.

2323 Thornwood Avenue, Wilmette, IL 60091