1930

To resume where we left you last month, Yale '43 secretary Jim Nelson continued for six years to regale his readers with letters from Dave Henderson. Dave and Marge continued to travel widely, entertain wildly, and spin tales that strained belief. In 1986, for instance, they had a visit from Burt Lancaster, who was doing a film in nearby Cancun. He was followed by Imelda Marcos, who stayed ten days and was preceded by her security people and accompanied by her maid, hairdresser, three bodyguards, and a driver who doubled as a gourmet chef. "Having Imelda as a guest is always quite an operation," said Dave. And poor Ferdie, after all he and Imelda had done for the Philippine people!

But disaster lurked. Their other yacht, "the most comfortable cruiser they ever owned," was attacked by pirates in the Malacca Strait. Dave and Marge escaped, but the yacht was scuttled, so they had to order another one. As it was a-building, Marge's dad kicked the bucket. Their grief (and inheritance) called for a bigger yacht, so it grew from 163 to 197 feet. What a beautiful putt-putt, said Dave.

This letter was plucked in its entirety (or enormity) from the YAM and published in the San Francisco Chronicle and then in The New Yorker. That's when it all hit the fan. Irate grads wrote Prexie, blasting the execrable taste of everyone involved. Jim Nelson then knew he had to kill Dave, though he really had become quite fond of him. So he wrote and submitted an obit, but the YAM editor turned him down. Finally he accomplished the deed by publishing a sad letter from Marge. Dave, she said, had gone ashore in Belize and was struck down by a speeding mango truck. The class sent its sympathy to Marge.

Dave's creator is unidentified, but I suspect the Yalie secretary. No, I've never invented a classmate so far. Once several years ago, in a desperate attempt to stimulate a response, I invented some outlandish rumors about several real classmates. The results? Absolute zero. Anyway, my thanks to Yale '43 and Smithsonian magazine.

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