1985

If there were a literary visual for the word vacuous, this column would be it. Hey, but don't let that stop you. Either our classmates are not doing anything or they're just not including me on their communication list. Clearly, this distressing situation screams for the need for a GUEST COLUMNIST! Yes, we've reached that stage, but more on that later.

One person I did see recently was Ken Graham, lifelong recipient of the most creative/unsual Freshman Book nickname award. (Let's see, Robert, your nickname is Rob, how nice. And Ken, you prefer to be called...). It was great to catch up with Ken, who cleverly spied my Dartmouth T-shirt when we were both in the parking lot at the local YMCA. Ken was squiring his new fiancee, while I was juggling my three, shall we say, boisterous kids. Guess who was more relaxed. Ken now lives in suburban Philly, having moved back from out West to join the family business. Congrats to Ken on some exciting milestones (e.g. moving, proposing, seeing me).

I also got the run down (phrase is part of thematic paragraph) on Jim Sapienza, seeing as I spoke to him several weeks.ago. Jim, wife Katherine, and son Hunter are all here in Philly. The Sapienza clan moved from Sacramento about one year ago for Jim's job as, if memory serves me, a product marketing manager for Astra Merck. Jim continues to be quick on his feet as I read he had won a popular local road race. Jim was able to confirm that he won the 5K race by a margin of a mere two miles.

Also here in Philly is weatherman Dave Frankel. Dave's not in our class, but I thought it was cool that another class column mentioned that he was in Alpha Chi. I should have gathered this since his forecasts usually revolve around weather conditions for summer leisure pong. Speaking of lousy pong players, has anyone seen Dave Story? Speaking of budding Hollywood director superstars, has anyone seen Dave Story? I feel compelled to mention Dave because he really is the only person I know who could resurrect my sluggish film career, which has been slow since sophomore summer's cinematic classic, The Look of Love, starring our own Barry Bass. Barry was able to parlay his leading role into a career in real estate in DC. Dave, meanwhile, is chasing film glory in L.A.

Sharing excitement about the Red Wings (I had to work Michigan in here somehow) is none other than Steve Moss, still working absurd hours in investment banking in Chicago. Steve and wife Marie just bought a new place downtown and appear loosely committed to the Windy City. Steve's presence in Chicago has coincided with the Bulls' string of NBA championships, though Steve has graciously conceded that Michael Jordan may actually have more to do with this than Steve himself.

And now the literary unveiling of our class guest columnist, who will take my next turn (I hear your clapping). You've read her bestselling fiction in The New York Times and seen her comedy act on Second City. Well, actually neither of those, but she (there's a clue!) did express interest in taking a stab at this journalistic challenge. She'll bring her unique perspective from the banks of the Cuyahoga (another clue) directly to you! Now, like they said in grade school when you had a substitute teacher, be nice. Let's give a big Class of '85 welcome to...Gimme a B! Gimme an A! (Partial clues). You'll find out in December's issue. Maybe by then, I'll even have an e-mail address for the multitudes who want to write but need technology's assistance.

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