The Undergraduate Chair

THEBE is something highly ironical and more than slightly suggestive of the intervention of the direful digits of destiny in the selection of a prominent member of the Jack-o-Lantern board as the next occupant of the Undergraduate Chair. At last the pumpkin-headed worm has been extended the long awaited opportunity of turning against the "robust esthete" who formerly conducted this column and whose attacks against Dartmouth's "humorous monthly" (never substantiated, incidentally) have been allowed to go abroad into the alumni world and influence these usually impartial minds against what has been rather fulsomely called "a welcome humorous oasis in an intellectual desert of significance."

As to the actual physical incumbency in respect to this position, may we state that our appalling lack of girth (or perhaps diameter is the better word) precludes our even entertaining such an idea. Perhaps during our evenings of filling up this column, we may be able to prevail upon several members of the Jack-o-Lantern board to help us fill up the vast gaping cavern which certainly will become visible upon the arisal and departure of present rather obese sitter. Incidentally the funny men thus recruited will undoubtedly feel well repaid for this menial task by being allowed a few hearty thumps upon and several contemptuous sneers at the rather battered piece of furniture in question"

If there is to be any objective which we plan to follow in writing this stint, it is that of bringing its long suffering readers out of the woods and glades, away from the river banks and the eskers to which the nature loving Mr. Ferry has so gleefully led them, and returning them to the solid and substantial and, to us, not unromantic life of the campus.

The Dartmouth, known as "the oldest college newspaper in America" culminated this morning a rather extended and notable series of misspellings, misstatements and typographical errors with the following interesting statement:

"With no chance for outdoor practice since their opening game with Tufts last Saturday, the Green lacrosse team boards the Washingtonian tonight for West Point, where they will play the hardest game and was not given one opportunity urday."

Most welcome was the advent of the Abbey Theatre Players of Dublin, Ireland, with their presentation of "Juno and Her Pay cock" which was played at Webster Hall on Saturday evening, April 9. The play was like a breath of the "auld sod" and was most satisfying especially to those romantic Gaelic souls whose forbears were driven from the Emerald Isle by the potato famine of the early IB4o's.

With the Easter vacation came the third annual Bermuda trip conducted by the Dartmouth Travel Bureau, an institution which is getting to be more or less of an ingrained habit with those who are able to raise pecuniary recompense required by the mercenary steamship companies. To aid the impecunious but willing souls there was instituted a series of raffles in which the top price was two dollars and in which the reward was a free trip to Bermuda along with the regular party. According to the reports which have come back from the sunny island, there was more than one affaire du coeur which had its genesis there " 'neath balmy tropic skies." Some, needless to say, were merely ephemeral, but the effects of others are still evident in the moony, vacant expressions of some of the amateur Casanovas and Don Juans.

It is interesting as a matter of social interest to note that "Nat" Woodward, prominent man about town and occupant of roomy quarters in the barn at the rear of the Frost residence, was the man who drew the lucky number which sent one happy schoolboy tooling off to Bermuda at no expense.

The Sitter in the Undergraduate Chair notes with the deepest regret the passing of Jake Bond, college night watchman and pater familias of Delta Kappa Epsilon. He had occupied his position in the college for thirty-four years and in his death the campus loses one of its most prominent and beloved figures.

With his tie for first place in the fifty yard dash in the Intercollegiates at Annapolis, Dick Banfield '34 brought to Dartmouth the first swimming title which she has held since John Bryant captured the National Intercollegiate 100-yard title. Banfield led the qualifiers with his time of 24 1/5 and repeated this time to finish even with Fobes of Yale in the finals.

The duck boards have finally been removed from the campus. Of course, they were laid down too early and were several times covered with over a foot of snow. Finally the ground, in the opinion of those who control the movements of the all too passive boards, was firm enough to warrant their removal. Immediately it snowed, but only a light, negligible covering, a sort of self-satisfied sneer at the presumptiousness of the board movers.

"L'Oiseau," The Dartmouth's pseudohumorous column, has been appearing sporadically during the past month, but, in our opinion, the labored, mechanical, unspontaneous, brand of its humor will doom it to a sudden merciful death. Perhaps the feathered creature might well return to the skunk cabbage leaf in back of whence, according to its sponsor, it sprang full grown. (Like Venus springing full blown from the sea, we suppose.) The Jack-o-Lantern still seems to be leading the way in the field of humorous literary endeavor.

In closing, we should like to throw light upon another error into which the former conductor of this column fell during his incumbency. He stated that he never heard the Alpha Delts singing on their porch after meeting. This misstatement is probably due to fact that Mr. Ferry is now living on South Main Street rather than in Topliff and even the hardiest of the Alpha Delt chanteurs wouldn't consider trying to send his voice trilling to 48 South Main Street. (This last statement was meant to be quite biting, but it suddenly trailed off . . . ah well.)

WITH this issue, the MAGAZINE ispleased to introduce its new under' graduate editor, John S. Monagan '33.In his opening installment, Monagan indicates an intention to seek vindication for Jacko-Lantern against the slurs made by his predecessor in the Undergraduate Chair, W. H.Ferry '32. "It is time for the pumpkin-headedworm to turn," he says. He is managing editorof Jack-o. The new editor s main effort (to which theseretaliatory essays will prove, we feel sure, quiteincidental) will be to give to MAGAZINE readersa lively picture of the things that transpire underHanover elms as they appear to an undergraduate eye. Monagan's home is in Waterbury,Connecticut. He is captain-elect of the swimming team, and is a member of Alpha DeltaPhi, Green Key, and Sphinx.