1978

Real World, Act I, Scene 6:

Winter is setting in across the Midwest, bringing back keen longings for those fun days in -20° Hanover under four feet of snow. The Winter Wonderland, with skiing and outdoor frolic for the stout-hearted, as well as such indoor games as basketball, backgammon, Budweiser, and Colby women. The real world has a much tougher time with winter than Dartmouth. There are daily challenges, such as survival while waiting for a bus in sub-human weather, staying warm while keeping the fuel bill under $100 per month, finding ways to dig your car out after it has been buried by a snow plow, and maintaining some semblance of coolness while wearing Totes over your wing tips. In all, winter merely represents the opportunity to go entire months without seeing the sun. Thus, my goal is to be a sage of happiness, a shah of sunshine, and to peer joyously ahead to summer wedding time.

Put down the briefcase, take two aspirin, throw in the frozen dinner, and relax.

Chicago will never be the same. This happening will challenge all anti-trust learning from Economics 25: A merger has been announced between the Harris Bank and Northern Trust. This business transaction will be consumated by Charles Denison and Ms. Bobby Besant sometime in June in a secluded section of Winnetka. Doubtlessly, Dartmouth attendance will be high if similar to a Christmas party held recently in the Windy City with Bob McCarthy, Jerry Kortekamp, Jim Bullion, Bill McLaughlin, Tony Cort, Cheeks Morse, Jeff Nadherny, John Hugo, and a partridge in a pear tree. Of course, the gracious host was Casper. Chico has promised that his wedding will feature Big Bruce Rauner as a flower person and Wally Morgus giving delicate renderings of the Chicago Business School Worm. I suggest that all attend (this could be like the ultimate roadtrip to Skidmore), as McLaughlin and Casper may have similar, important announcements.

Chico must have given some of the marriage fever to his freshman roommate, Don Ankeny, who bites the dust in July. This close encounter of the Psi U kind promises to be the social event of the summer in Minneapolis, especially with Whit Johnson and the Mounties singing "What's the Ugliest Part of the Body" at the reception. After a brief honeymoon in Burlington, Vt., Don and his bride will set up in Manhattan.

Another wedding was announced recently in both the New York Times and the bulletin board at 5 Webster Avenue. Specifically, DonRendall will marry Sandy Smallwood in July 1974, behind the bar at Phi Delt. I can just see Ann Luby squaring off against Jon Ambler, supported by a case of equally diabolical characters. This should really be a nice wedding (MacPhail has promised to shave and Kreter will shut up), with a big reception planned for the Hotel Coolidge. Well, my prediction worked once before so I'll try again: This time Drury and Bernfeld will be memorizing the lines!

Hopefully, Sandy will remember some of the disciplines in married life taught to her by her old mentor L. Mark Panella. In anticipation of the climax of Title IX, Lou has been building a hockey dynasty in the North Country. Although Lea Boiling has graduated to the NHL, the team is still 3-3-1 - another symbol of Lou's mediocrity. By the way, in his spare time Lou works at Dartmouth National Bank and mops floors in North Fayerweather.

Further south, a fine crew of financial minds has been assembled to monitor Dartmouth affairs in the Hub. The Boston Group, spearheaded by Jeff Crowe, Donald McQueen, and Bill Devine, has recently taken in a wandering vagrant, Tom Alexander. They claim to spend a majority of their time attempting not to go back to Dartmouth too often, not to marry Wellesley women, and not to miss too many episodes of "Star Trek." Bill wants me to start getting your mind right for the big financial push in May.

Just so you won't think our Class is all weddings and general boredom, one classmate recently had a fine father/son adventure. CarWaterman and dad (Stan '46) went on location in Rangiroa Atoll (I think that is in northern West Virginia) to film a special on shark behavior. Although Gar's heart is still in metal sculpturing and drinking beers on the Psi U porch, this sounds like a fine time and a good way to earn bucks.

Well, I'm beginning to fade as that northeaster blowing through my living room is chilling my fingers. Good luck in surviving the winter without a Carnival or excessive body heat. Stay in touch.

1208 Wareham Dr., Apt. 2 Cincinnati, Ohio 45202