1978
Al Haig slammed down the phone in digust. As if he didn't have enough problems Iran, Russia, Senator Tsongas, licorice jelly beans. He pressed a button with the number seven on it. "Cap, we have a problem. No, it's not the tapes, it's West Virginia. It seems that the young law student (and sometimes holy man), Mike Glass, is threatening to declare war on Kentucky; just when we thought he had ended that fling with Phyllis George. Funny animals, those West Virginians. Its amazing how they'll follow mustached men wearing overalls and mirror Raybans." Thus began a Chilling segment in American history. Only a woman, Sandra Battistoni, was capable of staving off a brutal civil war.
America is safe. Mike and Sandra plan to wed this summer, calming the "mountain man's" heretofore evil ways. Mike writes, "despite my natural inclination towards moderation in all things, I haven't been content with just concluding my academic career and beginning a legal one. Having finally found that elusive contact with reality, I've gotten engaged." I'm familiar with Mike's path of non-ordinary reality, which must be traveled to become a man of knowledge. Mike promises that the wedding will be one of moderation, featuring the likes of Paul Ricotta. However, the details have not been finalized, due to the strange disappearance of Alan MacPhail. Phails was last seen in Taos, before the takeover of the American embassy in Iran. Mike states that he will not wed until Phails can be found to assume his rightful place as Most Undesirable Usher. Separately, Mike reports that the only other militant student currently in West Virginia is Dirk Davidson. He can be reached via the W.V.U. Medical Center Cadaver Room.
I'm often stopped on the street in Cambridge and asked, "What ever happened to Rock and Go Navy?" Fortunately, I can now answer that question. Rock married a Mr. Richard Fisher and is living in Newport. She is working at In- dustrial National of Providence. Rumor has it that while their wedding was kind of a snooze, Rock and Mike are having a great time sailing around Newport. Go Navy, on the other hand, is somewhat landlocked in Springfield. However, she is working hard, saving lots of money, and planning to go to B-school next year. (Key: Rock = Linda Valentini; Go Navy = Sue Wyka). In totally unrelated news, Ann Hoover has jitterbugged her way from the advertising business to being a first-year student at the Colgate Darden School.
While tooling around Cambridge, one is liable to see all sorts of strange things undergraduates carrying books, nude saxophone players, and Cutlasses carrying JimmieSolomon. It seems that old number 39 kept on sprinting after catching that pass against Harvard in 1977, finally stopping when he got to the law school. Jimmie is showing the wear of student life, driving a brand new car and living in a nice apartment off campus, making him long to return to Earl Campbell country. He intimates that he may soon become the heir to the Ramco fortune, but until then will be working for a Washington, D.C., firm. He'll be graduating along with Rod Pearcy, although I don't know if the past three years have been quite as rough for Rod as they have for Jimmie.
Like the rest of you, I enjoy the class newsletter more than the ALUMNI MAGAZINE class notes. That is primarily attributable to the bass player for the Jim Carroll Band, Scott Axford. After being busted on a morals charge in Vermont, Scott has been banned to Boston. While here, he will be a computer programmer for Ma Bell, promising to transform the computer center into a counter-insurgency weapon directed against those who favor governmentguaranteed loans to Chrysler. His new address will be announced shortly.
From waiting at the Bull's Eye to N.F.L. stardom? From struggling to beat out Tex Collins to displacing Jan Stenerud? From evenings in the Tri Kap tube room to evenings with sparrow-minded blondes? Yes, this fairy tale actually came true for Nick Lowery. After establishing the N.F.L. record for number of times he was cut over a two-year period, Nick won a job as the starting kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs. He proceeded to become one of the best kickers in the league, tying a record for 50 yard field goals in a game. Good job, Nick.
For those of you who haven't read TheHolcroft Covenant or The HonourableSchoolboy, don't despair the Book-of-theMonth Club has selected Rob Roethenmund'sThe Swiss Banking Handbook: A CompleteManual for Practical Investors as an alternate selection. Rob wrote the book while prone in a dugout canoe in New Guinea.
Zeke only brought me limited news this month, but that was because he had to go a long way to get it to Czechoslovakia to be exact. Zeke cabled me from Prague before heading north for a relaxing working vacation in Gdansk, Poland, where he was slated to confer with Lech Walesa on the subtleties of anti-tank warfare. Zeke's cable reads as follows: Omniprofessional philanthropist and socialite Dave Dalury has been engaged to wed. The lucky girl is a Smith College grad and freedom fighter at large, with a name that sounds so difficult to spell that I will not engage in that embarassingly futile exercise. Dave has been laboring over the career-marriage trade-off lately and seems to have come up with some interesting compromises.
Tom Castle has joined the protect-againstinflation movement by converting his government loan into a small diamond. The recipient of this South African import is Susan Van Sickle of Mt. Holyoke in a July wedding. Although the subject of holy matrimony seems to be wearing a little thin for this reporter, faithful readers of the Sunday Times personal merger and acquisition section have informed me that Keith Kirkland was married in December to Jane Maclntyre, a Smith grad (is a pattern emerging?). After graduating from Thayer School, Keith is now the director of special effects for The Plasmatics. Finally, it is my understanding that the young southern lawyer Allan Reynolds will marry HarrietTravilla this summer.
Stay tuned for the class of 1979 serai-annual column.
14 Peabody Terrace, Apt. 22 Cambridge, Mass. 02138
