1978
By the time this issue hits the streets you all will have just returned from Ft. Lauderdale and spring break, right? You'll be ready for another three months, sitting on the porch at Chase Manhattan listening to Jimmy Buffett tunes. Occasional trips skinny-dipping in the Hudson River will be in order, made available because you lined up some springtime guts at IBM. Some may be going to work in halter-tops and then picking up some rays along Madison Avenue. All have returned in great anticipation of another fine baseball season. Well, with that last line, I'm sure you realize I must be hallucinating. By now we've missed two vacations, with only the expectation of two free weeks this summer. Although this is, indeed, bitter fruit, there are some '78s who will be living it up this spring. And, in the attempt to live vicariously through them, I shall begin this episode, "Alternative Sources of Happiness."
Sit back, sip on a mint julep, and think about pleasant opportunities like being seated between Bill Dexter and Kevin Barber on a transcontinental Greyhound bus tour...
With spring in the air, love is in full bloom - particularly for Steve Mandel in Greenwich Village. It seems that "Conductor" Mandel has taken to dressing up in sixteenth-century leotards and armor before big dates with his new gal. Although he is somewhat concerned about his image within the investment world (because his new lady is slightly reminiscent of Squeaky Fromme in physical appearance and mental stability) the only black marks he has received due to her have been heel-marks on his apartment wall. Marc Farley, loyal roommate that he is, has taken the time to send me this news from his perch outside Mandel's window. Steve and Marc are going to take a skiing vacation out west, accompanied by Bob Hymen. This is an annual trip for Buster, although it was usually funded by the brothers of Kappa Sig and scheduled during rush weekend.
From elsewhere in the Apple, Ann Luby has reported on a reunion which was similar to Dartmouth in both personality and, much to her liking, ratio. Specifically, John Carney, PieTraynor, Jack Reeder, Phil Jackmauh, TrippPeake and Alvero Saralegui had met in Baltimore for some cordial drinking when Ann busted in to fulfill the Dartmouth ratio requirement. Most of the evening was spent around the keg, placed in the back of Tripp's van, which he had driven into B.K.'s den. Important news resulting from this encounter was: 1) J.C. and Phil have shaved their heads and are going to San Francisco to join Sam Coffey in a religious cult worshipping Jan Murphy's nose; 2) Bill Kelso has left beautiful Joliet, Wise., to return to beautiful Baltimore; and 3) Ann is living in a midtown drop-in center for coeds with Ann Duffy and Carla Persons, '77s. Lubes is working at Bloomingdales and working out by dodging muggers (sometimes) in Central Park.
A recent telegram from Almost Heaven, W.Va., brought news from the mountain man, Mike Glass. Glassman extolls the virtues of the study of law, even if it is taught by missionaries at a junior college in backwoods West Virginia. You'll be happy to know that G-Man still believes that there is "no assignment too vital to punt," and that he hopes to marry a mountain woman, as soon as he finds one who speaks English.
Another '78 who is excelling in graduate work is Andy Ebbott, at Chicago B-School. Somehow, Eblow has convinced his class to elect him president, getting him one step closer to a job. I don't know how he pulled it off, considering the class was full of '78s who should have known better, such as Wally Morgus,Cheeks Morse, and Jane Kirrstetter. By the way, a classic line from the letter that Andy wrote to tell me that he had been elected to this lofty position informed me that he had also given up his Dartmouth ways, learning the virtues of tactfulness. I don't think you're quite there yet, Andy.
Meanwhile, in an act slightly less altruistic than business school, Tom "T.J." Johansen will depart soon for Cameroun, Africa, where he will help establish village co-operatives. This will be tough because Cameroun has 200 tribes, 24 languages, and 15 fraternities. Maybe he can utilize some of the techniques brought to Hanover by Karen Blank to sooth the savage beast.
One '78 has carried his artistic excellence beyond the Plain and into the real world. Gordon Smith is busy mastering his expertise in "personalized art" and much of his work has been put on display outside the Hopkins Center snack bar, as well as in great artistic enclaves such as the Topsfield Public Library.
In this back-from-spring-break issue, it is only fair that I mention several '78 weddings looming in the near future. In a fairy-tale affair, John Foote will marry his hometown girlfriend, Mary Clare Crotty from Darien. These two haven't been apart since those final days at Darien High School. In fact, John, an SAE, has cleverly arranged for his fiancee to work as a staff nurse at Mary Hitchcock while he finishes up at Thayer School. Elsewhere, my old buddy Mark Sweetser is going to wed Cindy Ross. Sweets is now an insurance man for New England Life, which is fortunate, so he can insure the reception hall against the damage his older brother will likely produce. Mark has vowed to invite all his fraternity brothers from AXA to his wedding, which now must be held at Foxboro Stadium.
See Gerry Widdicombe starring in "The Northhampton One" — soon to be in theater near you! This is a story of intrigue and female persecution at a small girls school in New England. A young investment banker is falsely accused, tortured mercilessly, blackmailed and nearly executed until rescued by his crafty lawyer, Kevin Hoffman. Call Goldman Sachs for further details.
"Coming through for you," Lauren Tanny has checked in from Hartford, two-ninths of the way toward becoming an actuary, and singing soprano in the Connecticut General commercials, along with fellow '78 Kevin Chase. Lauren has seen Sue Wyka several times at the local Y.M.C.A., but they have yet to join forces with Linda "Rock" Valentini for some chugging in downtown Hartford. She also sends word that Kenny Landau is in love in Baton Rouge and working at a Vista alcoholic rehabilitation center. While I'm not sure how these three things fit together, I'm certain that Kenny will be an honorary judge at this year's Pony Board.
Well, time to unpack the suntan lotion and T-shirt and prepare for the remainder of the spring. If only we could enroll in a Kleinhardt class for the next several months we'd be all set. Alas, the tribulations of the real world. Take care, and stay in touch.
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