1980

Johnny Weismuller would have loved the place. And Jane and Cheetah would not have been far behind. It is not difficult to find places in that region where nobody has ever been before. I have just returned from a grand canoe expedition in Georgia's incredible Okefenokee Swamp. In a venture which looked at times like the last remake of The African Queen, I spent a few days and nights with the alligators, snakes, cricket frogs, cranes, bladderworts, neverwets, mosquito hawks, and pitcher plants that call the Okefenokee home. With most of its 496,000 acres covered by water and dotted with indistinguishable clumps and islands, the swamp looks not unlike Kappa Sig's basement during Hell Night. Anyway, I enjoyed the trip so much that I now take snakeroot and camphor gum in my tea.

Discretion is the better part of valor department: I recently received a nice note from Mrs. Robert Busby. She wrote of the wedding of her daughter to Dave Daniels '79, at which event a few illustrious 'Bos made their presence well known. The ABC Sports camera crew supplied action shots of Mike Lynch, Al Noyes (the toast of South America), Bill Goodspeed, and Harry Shulman. Fortunately, even though it is close to April Fool's Day, decorum prohibits me from describing the scenes from the photographs, much less asking the publisher to risk total damnation by printing them.

Well, as the old song goes, "There's something about Alpha Delta ..." Harry was extolling the virtues of guilt without sex while Al delivered a short sermon entitled "How to overcome self-doubt through pretense and ostentation." The good Dr. Lynch shared some of the optimum body functions he has learned at Dartmouth Medical School. Speedo was busy taking notes for his own wedding later this year ...

Miami Beach, alias New Cuba, was the scene of I.B.M.'s prestigious (actually, any roadtrip away from New York in March is special) 100 Per Cent Club last month and the Big Green was everywhere. To qualify for this trip, you have to average 63 hours a work-week to meet your sales quota during the year. The rewards are numerous. You get two and a half days in Miami and you keep your job. Such a deal. Scott Bechler, Rob Speidel, Meg Blakey, Hal Bennett '78, Tom Hull and Peter Smith '79, and Ned Mandel '81 all scored some fun in the sun. Yours truly was there to officiate . . .

Last month I visited that bastion of eastern conservatism, Cambridge, Mass. I ran into, among others, Tench Coxe, Brad Koenig, Bill Helman, Margie Schechner, Jeff Furber, Beth Cogan, and Jim Wilson, who are all studying capitalism and the art of status quo maintenance at Harvard Business School. Most of the folks were busy dealing with the corporate recruiters for summer jobs. Tench, sporting the new Vitas Gerulaitis hairstyle, says that job choice runs the gamut from the Wall Street shuffle to career opportunities in Soviet agribusiness.

Beloch-of-the-month award goes to Rick Zogby who, prior to his nasal surgery, had the following conversation with the plastic surgeon: Zogs: Doctor, I need a nose job. Surgeon: Well, how big do you want it? Zogs: No, I'd like you to make it smaller. Surgeon: Like I said, how big do you want it. . . ?

From the corn-covered Midwest comes word from the world's most affable pheasant hunter. Joe Morotti, majority stockholder of C&A's, writes that the 1982 lowa pheasant season was "terrible." And as soon as the deer season opened, Joe elected to hang up his gunning cap. "Besides," he says, "I didn't want to become a hood ornament for some near-sighted Texan . . . "Joe has been working in an Agriculture Department pesticide/herbicide laboratory in Des Moines since graduation.

Keep those cards and letters coming . . . Please note the new address . . . Bribe ratecards available on request . . . Remember, only one more issue before the MAGAZINE holes up for the summer (in observance of the Red Sox season) ... I guess you know where my money is for the N.H.L. and N.B.A. playoffs . . .

In closing, a sad item to relate to you: Ted Johnson died in a tragic accident on August 22, 1982. Ted was caught in an avalanche while scaling Mount Kitsner in Alberta, Canada. He was with a friend, Neil Cannon of Princeton, at the time. After leaving Dartmouth, Ted finished school in Oregon and had planned to attend law school. I am so sorry this has happened. Let us please keep Ted and his family in our prayers.

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