1981

529 Columbus Avenue #16 Boston, MA 02118

There I was, locked safely in my filing cabinet, set to manufacture the story that surely would alter forever the destiny of the U.S. economy, when the phone rang. Almost certainly, it was some deadline-obsessed editor waiting to hurl his share of expletives in my direction. I picked up anyway, and it wasn't an editor at all. It was Dyer (this, I would discover later, is one of the terrific things about this job: you get to call class officers by their last names, even before you slander them in print).

Keith!" Dyer cried, this being back when we were on a first-name basis. "Keith, we need integrity!" And so Dyer told me her woeful tale—a sordid saga of lies, scandal, and an utter lack of integrity in which the evil secretary-dictator Toolin figured prominently. Now, Toolin was history, deposed by an awful, bloodless coup de scribe. But who, oh who, was in?

I wasn't going to take the job. "Let someone else get involved." I thought. But then Dyer told me about the many opportunities for career advancement, and about the lifetime forgiveness of class dues. Attractive inducements, indeed.

And, too, I thought of Al Greenstein. Large and Somewhat Impressive Al, mildmannered engineer genius, latent Green- wich prepster. Al probably is the most integrous (integriful? integritable?) guy I know, and he deserves to be mentioned in the class notes. Frequently.

So I told Dyer, "Yes. Yes, I shall undertake to write the class notes, and I shall undertake that task with integrity."

Now here we are, midway through the New and Class Notes. Just moments after my chat with Dyer, incredibly, a packet arrived from the ES-D Toolin—a packet filled with terrible, horrible leftover half-truths. These half-truths I now will print, to get them out of the system. Next month: untainted integrity. I promise.

Anyway, for those who choose to believe her, Toolin claims that John Noble is winding up a Ph.D., English and religion, at U.Va. Pam Banholzer Lalmond is teaching (what? who?) in Amherst, Mass. BruceMcKenzie finished his Master of Divinity at Trinity, and now works at Northern Trust. And Toolin's Chemical Bank crony, Ty Po, is busy swapping things in a bank group of that name, and has started a pretty grueling weekend M.B.A. at Wharton.

Toolin herself is, as I write, sucking down her fourth G&T by the ocean in Osterville, trying to pick up the pieces of her shattered life. After four years with Chemical's Eastern Europe group, the Evil One will begin (has begun, I guess) law school at Columbia. Even more impressive, she now is a member of the Council on Foreign Relations, a pretty prestigious organization that is sort of the foreign affairs equivalent of C&G. There, Toolin will yak it up with lots of similarly-minded big-shots like Kissinger and Vance.

I should mention that Toolin, evil though she is, has been a very great class secretary for a long time and will be a tough act to follow. Thank you, Jenny.

So write to me, or call, and tell me integrifying things. And keep reading this, your guarantee of integrity in class notes.